Ditching the Fairytale
Former lead singer for the rock band—Goldilocks—Lynn Lilja had a wish for a fairytale life. Instead, after two divorces, a rock ‘n roll lifestyle, and parenting a special needs child, Lynn found that even when things aren't “just right”, there is a hope that is sure.
Lynn had a fun childhood in a large family with seven brothers and sisters in the Chicago suburbs. She grew up thinking life would always be “just right”. But, God and faith were not part of their everyday life. They did not go to church often, and when they did, her parents did not attend. Instead, they dropped the kids off for Sunday school and left.
JBU: What shattered your dream of a fairytale family?
LYNN: When I was in high school, my parents decided to get a divorce. My dream of having a happy home life was shattered. Yet, I desperately clung to the hope that I would have a fairytale family when I grew up.
JBU: But first came rock and roll….tell us about those years.
LYNN: After high school I became a lead singer in a band and married the bass player. That marriage was brief, and I left the group after our divorce.
Then, I got involved with a handsome athlete, and we had a stormy relationship of living together, breaking up, drinking, and partying. Eventually, I married my handsome athlete even though I knew deep down we were incompatible.
I joined another rock band, and this time the band was named Goldilocks, after me! Along with the band came the rock n’ roll lifestyle: live for today with no regrets.
JBU: Where did God fit into the fairytale you were trying to create?
LYNN: If you had asked me about God and faith back then, I would have said He didn’t exist. I was a rebellious young woman, desperate to find love and acceptance. I thought that death was the end and it was going to come too soon. I wrote songs about my fear of death and feelings of inadequacy and failure.
JBU: Did your marriage to the “handsome athlete” last?
LYNN: No, it didn’t, even after we had a beautiful daughter. After the Goldilocks band split up, I joined another band that tried to get bookings. Our marriage was struggling and we separated.
JBU: When did you acknowledge your need for Christ?
LYNN: Something surprising happened to me soon after our separation. I realized there was a God who loved me and that touched me deeply.
My brother, Jim, had become a follower of Jesus Christ several years earlier. He explained that God, through Jesus Christ, wanted a personal relationship with me. I recognized my sin and accepted Him with joy! I began attending a Bible-teaching church with Jim. I prayed for my husband and our marriage. God answered that prayer and my husband moved back home.
My lifestyle changed. My daughter and I began to go to church. I no longer wrote and sang about my fear of death; I began to write and sing about Jesus’ love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
JBU: And your husband?
LYNN: My handsome athlete husband wanted nothing to do with church or faith. I decided a second child would fix our marriage. But instead of fixing it, our son, Ray was born with a condition that caused developmental delays. The pressure was too much for us. My husband moved out and left the state.
JBU: What did you learn about God through this difficult time?
LYNN: As a young follower of Christ, I began to learn about God’s help in tough circumstances and His promise to never leave His children. What a comfort that was! Through this heart-breaking time, I grew in my faith.
God gave me strength to sit by my son’s hospital bed through more than 40 surgeries. He also stood with me through the decision to reunite with my husband, where we struggled for eight more years before finally divorcing.
JBU: What happened then?
LYNN: At our new church, I met my third husband, Steve. We talked on the phone for the summer, and then to my delight he asked me for a date. We’ve been married for 12 years. I even have a daughter I didn’t give birth to – Steve has a daughter the same age as mine.
My dream of having a happy family has come true. It hasn’t always been easy, but faith and God’s Word have given me endurance and encouragement.
Most importantly, I have learned that God has bigger plans than a just-right life on earth. He has plans for a just-right eternity!
JBU: How is God using you in women’s lives?
LYNN: I'm a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries (www.stonecroft.org) and prayer coordinator for our local Stonecroft outreach group. My talk is entitled, "Goldilocks and the Three Wishes."
- Favorite Scripture passage: Psalm 27:14
- Favorite Book: Thin Within by Halliday
- Favorite Hobby: making up recipes
- One fun thing she likes to do with her husband: watching Antique Roadshow
To contact Lynn: