Ever feel like relationships are hard to navigate? Do you find yourself trying to figure out situations that are complicated, messy, and unpredictable?
I want to find the right words to get to the other side of the conflict, but that isn’t always possible. Sometimes conversations start running in a circle, and there aren’t any productive words left to say. I’ve learned to spend time getting quiet before the Lord. Taking a step back from all the emotion, frustration, and exhaustion to sit with Jesus will do more to untangle a mess than anything else I’ve ever found.
If you find yourself in a tough relationship situation today, here are five things that can help:
1. We can feel safe enough to humble ourselves.
In a mess, the last thing I want to do is get humble. I want to overexplain and prove my point, but I’m learning that I have to stop fighting and humbly ask God to speak truth to my heart for things to make sense. Never have I had a relationship issue where I didn’t contribute at least something to the problem. Usually, I can only see this something in the quiet. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand …” (1 Pet. 5:6a).
2. God will lift us to a more rational place.
When we are in the heat of a tangled relationship, crazy emotions can drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution, “… that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6b).
3. Anxiety gives way to progress.
We can pour our anxious hearts out to Jesus who loves us right where we are. And because His love comes without judgment, we can feel safe enough to admit we need Jesus to work on us. Trying to fix another person will only add to my anxiety. Letting Jesus work on me is where real progress can happen. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7).
4. Our real enemy isn’t the person with whom we’re in conflict.
The truth is, we have an enemy, and it’s not each other. Satan’s influence on me and the person offending me is the real culprit. In the quiet, I become alert and develop a strategy for acting and reacting in a more self-controlled manner. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith …” (1 Pet. 5:8-9a).
5. God will use this conflict for good—no matter how it turns out.
If I make the effort to handle this conflict well, I can be freed from the pressure to make everything turn out rosy. Sometimes relationships grow stronger through conflict, but other times relationships end. Because I can’t control the other person, I must keep focusing on the good God is working out in me and leave the outcome with Him.
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast” (1 Pet. 5:10).
In the end, this struggle can be used by God to make me stronger and more capable in my relationships. If I am humble enough to receive from Him in the quiet what He wants to teach me, I can rest assured with whatever the outcome is.
For Further Study:
📖 Read:
- Colossians 3:12-13 - This passage reminds us to adopt Christlike attitudes that help us navigate conflicts with grace and forgiveness.
- Matthew 5:9 - Jesus highlights the importance of seeking peace in our relationships, encouraging us to pursue reconciliation even when it’s hard.
- Ephesians 6:11 - This verse helps us remember that conflicts often have a spiritual dimension, and we need God’s strength to stand firm and respond wisely.
💭 Reflect:
- When you think about a recent relationship conflict, how did humility or pride shape your response?
- In what ways have you experienced God lifting you up and calming your anxious heart during relational struggles?
🙏 Pray:
Dear Lord, Thank You for being a refuge when relationships feel messy and overwhelming. Help me to humble myself before You and to recognize my part in every conflict. Teach me to cast my anxieties on You and to trust You to lift me up in Your perfect timing. Guard my heart against the enemy’s schemes, and give me Your wisdom to respond with grace and patience. Use these difficult moments to strengthen me and shape me into a more loving, faithful follower of Jesus. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
