Some people say that giving birth is the hardest part of having kids. Others say it is the long, stressful years of teaching, disciplining, and rearing that are the most difficult. As I have entered the quiet years of the empty nest and look back on my years raising my kids, I say that learning to let them go is far and away the hardest part of having kids, especially when you have loved them deeply.
When you hold that fragile little newborn in your arms for the first time, all you see is the sweetness of having this perfect creation in your life. You look into the face of this little one and you begin to dream of all the special times you will share together. You begin to get used to the feel of their warm, soft body snuggled in your arms, close to your heart. The “letting go” idea has not even entered your mind. Through the long years of growing and teaching, yes, you may have times when you say, “I can’t wait until they are old enough to walk on their own or feed themselves or be done with diapers,” but the idea of “letting go” is still not there.
In the blink of an eye, it happens. Those small, sweet babies that you have loved so deeply grow up, they become eager to spread their wings, and you are faced with saying, “Goodbye.” Some parents may have the joy of having their adult children living close by where they can visit, so letting go isn’t quite so hard. There are others, like me, who have to watch as their child chooses a path that requires them to move thousands of miles from home, to the other side of the world, to work a job that can be risky. I watched with tears in my eyes as one of my sons took the oath to serve and protect first as a Naval Officer then as a Marine Corps Officer. He now “belongs” to the military.
After the gut-wrenching goodbyes had been said and the gripping hugs were given, with a final kiss, my son turned and walked away, taking pieces of my heart with him. As he walked away, I began to see images of him as that precious newborn in my arms. I could feel his little arms wrapped tightly around my neck in love because I had bought him ice cream, his favorite. I remembered the bedtime stories and singing softly to him as I rubbed his forehead with a cool cloth when he was sick. All too quickly his form disappeared through security, and I was left crying my eyes out in the cold metal bathroom stall at the airport while my husband waited outside. How can I possibly let him go? Who will care for him, love him, and protect him as much as I have?
Believe it or not, there is One who loves our kids even more deeply than we do. There is One who has always been and always will be able to protect them far better than we ever could. When your child turns and walks away and your hands open to let them go, you realize just how much you desperately cling to the One who walks with them. It is in the “letting go” that you come face to face with your ability to trust Jesus with the plans that He has for your child, the plans that He has designed for them before their days even came to be (Ps. 139:16). You trust in the promise that He will be with them even until the end of the age (Matt. 28:20). Would Jesus lie about such a thing? No! It is impossible for Him to lie; it is not in His nature to do so. Jesus has promised that those who take hold of the hope that’s offered us through His work on the cross will be able to stand firm and secure with this anchor of hope for our future (Heb. 6:18–20).
So, on those long, and agonizing days and nights when communication with your child goes unanswered, you hold fast to this anchor knowing that wherever your child is, Jesus is with them. When the days turn into weeks and into months and even years and you ache to wrap your arms around your child again, to feel their arms around you, rest in knowing that Jesus has His strong arms firmly around them and there will come a day when He will allow you to, once again, wrap your arms around them.
As I longingly wait for that day to come, I pull out the many photos of long ago and I look intently at that sweet little face, never seeing the committed, strong soldier that he would become, but seeing, now, the plan God had all along—the plan of letting go. Our children are wondrous gifts from God, entrusted to us to love, teach, and raise for a time, but then God will lovingly take them and lead them into a life that He has mapped out just for them. His plan for them will be an amazing plan that will prosper them, one that will give them a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). When I contemplate all that God has for my son, how deep and wide His love is for him, how could I not release my grip from his hand and allow him to put his hand firmly in the hand of Jesus?
With humble gratitude for the time that you, God, have given me with my son, I open my hands; he is Yours now. Love him and protect him well, Jesus. I am trusting you to cover him with Your wings as you have promised in Your Word (Ps. 91). Amen.
FOR FURTHER STUDY
📖 Read:
💭 Reflect:
- What makes it hardest for you to let go of someone you love?
- How does trusting God’s plan bring comfort in seasons of change?
- Where is God asking you to loosen your grip and open your hands in trust?
🙏 Pray:
Lord, You know how tightly I want to hold on. I confess it’s hard to let go. But I trust that You love my child even more than I do. Hold them close. Guide their steps. And help me find peace in the truth that You are with them wherever they go. Amen.
