“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10, ESV).
A few years ago, a woman in my church came up to me and asked me to be a part of a program she was doing. I didn’t know anything about the program, and knew her only from casual conversations and a lunch or two outside of church. I thought about it only for a moment before saying yes.
We started meeting every week after work, talking about the program she was in, and talking about our lives. Conversations were fun and honest, and just a few weeks in, we had a moment where I felt like she saw me—the real me—and I saw her, and in that realization we became closer. We spent more time together and quickly became best friends.
Finding Family Through Friendship
Early on, she invited my husband and me into her Thanksgiving gathering. From then on, we started getting together, all of us, as a family. We even coined a name for ourselves that was a combination of both of our last names.
The friendship we share is real and honest. It is not sugar-coated, fake, or destructive. Which, as I was thinking about the topic for this week’s magazine, made me wonder: How are Spirit-led friendships different? How do we recognize them?
God Comes First
From the start, we acknowledged that God had brought us together. I think we are meant to meet certain people. The friends and acquaintances we encounter can often teach us the lessons we need to grow closer to God, heal from past hurts, and become the people He created us to be. God works through everything, so why not through our friendships?
Initially, we met briefly over coffee, slowly opening up about our lives. We had found commonality in many of the things we had experienced, so much so that talking about our individual experiences was easier with each other than with other people. I think that focusing on God and His work in our lives made a big difference in the confidence we felt in being able to share honestly, without judgement.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).
A Glimpse into God’s Idea of Family
Even as our friendship grew and our husbands began hanging out with us, the focus on God remained. We prayed before meals and game nights, spoke of wonderful things God had done in our lives, and shared honestly about hard things we each endured. We were not “preaching to one another” but simply encouraging each other, giving quiet testimony, and each time we were helped by the Spirit to love and support one another.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thess. 5:11).
At some point, we started calling each other “sister.” It began to feel like we had actually been meant to be sisters. Not genetically, but in that amazing way that only God can connect people. During our most recent holiday, both sets of parents joined us and our husbands and the kids for our meal and gathering.
This friendship has helped me see God’s idea of what family really is and how He created us to be in community with each other. It has helped me see that no matter our life circumstances, we have true, real, family in Him. It is not just a conceptual idea, but a genuine possibility here, on this side of heaven.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants…Instead, I have called you friends” (John 15:12–15).
Reflect
Take a moment to consider and journal through these questions:
- Think about your closest friendship. How have you seen God's hand in how that relationship began or grew?
- What qualities do you see in Spirit-led friendships that are different from surface-level connections?
- Are your conversations with friends anchored in Christ or do you hesitate to bring your faith into the conversation? Why might that be?
- Have you ever considered that your friendships could reflect God's design for spiritual family? What does that stir in you?
- Is God inviting you to deepen a current friendship—or start one—with someone you only know casually right now? How might you say "yes" to that invitation?
Friendships rooted in Christ have the power to transform our lives—not just socially, but spiritually. They remind us that God’s idea of family reaches beyond biology and into the heart of community. When we open ourselves to Spirit-led relationships, we allow God to knit our lives together in ways that reflect His love, truth, and grace. These friendships become sacred spaces where we are seen, known, and loved—just as we are—and where the presence of Jesus is felt in every laugh, prayer, and shared meal.
For Further Study:
📖 Read:
- Romans 12:9–21 – A practical guide to sincere love, patience, and living in harmony with others. Which qualities of this passage show up in your closest friendships?
- Philippians 2:1–4 – Paul encourages believers to be of one mind in Christ. How might this mindset transform your relationships?
- Hebrews 10:24–25 – How can you intentionally “spur” your friends toward love and good deeds?
💭 Reflect:
- Who in your life has sharpened you spiritually, like iron sharpens iron?
- How have your closest friendships drawn you nearer to God—or helped you walk through difficulty with grace?
- What might be keeping you from going deeper in your friendships right now?
🙏 Pray:
Jesus, thank You for the gift of friendship. You’ve shown us what it means to love selflessly, to share life honestly, and to walk together in truth. Help me nurture the friendships You’ve given me—and to be brave in building new ones. Teach me to be a friend who listens, encourages, and reflects Your grace. Knit my life to others for Your glory, and help me see my friendships as sacred ground where Your love is made real. Amen.
