By: Pam Farrel
Sometimes life feels unjust! Like the psalmist in Psalm 73, it’s easy to look at sinful, selfish people and their apparent success and feel angry, confused, or depressed over how unsuccessful your life appears.
During one Christmas season, I was not feeling very hopeful. My rigorous ministry schedule coupled with caregiving for aging parents had left me depleted. The to-do list was long, and funds were short. However, my inner complaining was not improving my mood, creativity, or productivity, so I decided to follow the example of Psalm 73:16-17, ESV, [emphasis added]: “But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God.”
Part of my struggle with hope came from a significant downsize my husband and I were facing. We wanted to be closer to Bill’s aging parents to give more help. The enemy fueled my hopelessness with lies: “God doesn’t care about you,” and “God isn’t fair.” I recognized the danger of these lies, so, like the psalmist, I entered God’s sanctuary. I piped in praise music, pulled out my gratitude journal, and began reading the Christmas story. I was quickly reminded that no one in the Christmas story was comfortable that year. Mary was pregnant while riding a donkey, Joseph was fighting character accusations back home, the shepherds had left their familiar fields, and the wisemen rode smelly camels enroute to the barn. Even Jesus was laid in a manger of hay!
It was hard to feel sorry for myself when the God who created me set aside all the luxuries of heaven to occupy a cowshed on my behalf! My husband said, “Pam, I know this journey ahead will be strenuous, so I was thinking that instead of just getting a condo, what do you think about living on a boat?” Could I thrive in a space smaller than most hotel rooms? I knew I needed to head back into the sanctuary.
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