“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God” (Matt. 5:21-24, MSG).
If we are being honest, it has been another difficult year to intentionally be a “good neighbor.” Many of us have found ourselves stuck on a side, or stuck somewhere in the middle hopeful of not saying the wrong thing. Stepping outside of our front door has been a pretty vulnerable thing because we are unsure of who or what we are going to be met with. We want to be heard, we want to be right, and (really) we want others to be like us—but it has come at a pretty high price.
Recently I sat across from a close friend and had the conversation—you know the one that touches on every hot button topic of the present. Both of us knew going in the angle the other would take—and we were prepared with passionate opposition to each point made. The conversation got intense, voices raised, and when I was on the brink of shutting down out of frustration—this question was posed: What kingdom are you a part of?
While that was an easy question to answer—the follow-up caused me to pause: What is the evidence of that? My response to the first question was emphatically “The kingdom.” However, when I thought of the core beliefs that reside there—I haven’t been faithfully living inside of them. The tell-tale sign that was not the case? The kingdom of the heavens is not divisive.
In this last season, I’m afraid that we have focused so hard on trying to get people on the “right” side, that we have left our communities separated, isolated, and broken. We serve a Father who aims to reconcile, redeem, and draw in—in other words—unify. While He gave us passions, morals, and values to stand upon and fight for—I don’t think He wants them to come at the cost of alienating anyone. I am not here to reprimand. I shared the story above, to say, I get it. I find myself there more often than I would care to admit, but it is vital that we as the church figure out a way to have these conversations and still remain a united front. Why? Because at the end of the day, this place is not our home, and our King has an entirely different view on the things that really matter. I want to intentionally focus on those things, so that His people don’t get lost in the noise.
We get to be a good neighbor. Even and especially with those people we adamantly disagree with.
A good neighbor loves beyond reason—His reasons. A good neighbor cares less about being right, and more about making sure people feel seen and heard. A good neighbor also seeks to unite even, and especially, when it’s inconvenient or difficult.
When you find yourself struggling, wondering when to enter or exit the conversation—consider asking yourself the following two questions:
- What does love require of you?
- How is He ushering others into the kingdom through you?
Take a deep breath, and allow Him to lead.
For Further Study
📖 Read:
🔍 Reflect:
- Where have I been more concerned with being “right” than being Christlike?
- What does it look like to live as a peacemaker this week?
🙏 Pray:
Father, I confess that I sometimes care more about being right than being loving. Help me to see others through Your eyes and to respond with the humility and gentleness that reflect Your Kingdom. Shape my heart to pursue peace and truth in equal measure. Teach me to speak and act with grace, always pointing others back to You. Amen.
