“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” ~ Deuteronomy 6:4-9
My kids are all grown now, but I have a granddaughter on the way, and it makes me realize this is a very challenging time to be raising children. As a parent, in a digital world today you are writing the rules for a guidebook that’s never been written. How much screen time is too much? How much should kids use and share on social media? The only guidebook you have is your own knowledge of the digital world, and since it’s always changing you’ll always be adapting your rules.
Scripture tells us that we are to have face-to-face conversations with our children, talking about God on the road, and around the house. In order to have these conversations we all have to look up from our screens and turn our faces to each other. A parent’s job is to point their children again and again to the greatest commandment: to love God with all we are.
The most challenging part of our digital world is that you are your kid’s digital role model. Don’t lose sight of that. There’s no sadder sight than a tearful toddler begging for mom or dad to put down the phone long enough to pay attention to what they’re asking.
Few parents have set rules for their children and teens when it comes to tech and phone use. Kids left to their own devices neglect homework, remain sedentary, are sleep deprived, and become easily pulled into the addictive nature of the digital world. Studies have shown that excessive media use can lead to attention problems, school difficulties, sleep and eating disorders, and obesity. Recently, the American Academy of Pediatrics revised their guidelines that you might want to consider.
American Academy of Pediatrics Screen Time Guidelines:
Under 18 months - No Screen Time (except video-chatting with Grandma).
Ages 2-5 years - One hour per day of high quality programming (watch with your child).
Ages 6 and older - Consistent limits on time spent using media and types of media. Make sure media does not take the place of adequate sleep, physical activity, and other behaviors essential for health.
Parenting today is not about just shielding your children from the tools of the world, but equipping them to use those tools properly. You should be active and intentional in teaching them how to use technology effectively and to its fullest potential. Try having some digital free zones in your home. The car, the dining room, and the kitchen should be digital free places where conversation can flow freely.
5 Tips for Raising Kids in a Digital World
- Adhere to the 13-year-old age requirement for social media.
- Have a basic knowledge of what the apps do and how your child plans to use them.
- No devices at meals use this time for conversations.
- Prayer is key. Continually pray over your children, bless them, and affirm them.
- Model digital wellness yourself—you must lead by example.
Research shows that face-to-face time with family, friends, and teachers plays a vital and important role in promoting your child’s learning and healthy development. It won’t be easy but try to keep your face-to-face contact with your children as one of your highest priorities. Work hard to not let screen time dominant your home, but rather your families love for God.
