I don’t like hard things.
I wish I did. I wish I could say I look forward to a battle, that I relish the challenge of something that pushes me to my limits. But to be honest, most of the time I don’t. I like things that turn out exactly how I envisioned them or even better. I like it when everything falls right into place and goes according to my plans. I like it when I can quickly accomplish my goals and see progress being made in realizing my dreams. I like beauty, laughter, peace, and smooth waters. I consistently avoid sad movies and books. I like happy endings.
But sometimes, life has the audacity to stray from these cozy, safe parameters I have set up for it and God has the audacity to allow it to happen.
You, too?
There are times, many times, when we find ourselves in places we would rather not be. Hard places. Places where the opposite of what we have planned for and desired comes rushing in as our new reality. Seasons where our voice seems silenced and our name seems forgotten, where we look around us and have a difficult time piecing back together what used to be our dreams out of the rubble that lies at our feet. Some of my times like this have included deep disappointment and discouragement in ministry, battles with anxiety, panic attacks and depression, financial pressure that seemed to drag on and on, and long stretches in the midst of it all where I had to fight hard to believe that God had not forgotten us and moved on. I am sure you have your own list of painful spots in your life.
I don’t like these hard places and my guess is neither do you. But I am learning to value them, because I am finding out they are full of treasure, these places I would never choose to go to. Make no mistake about this, I am profoundly grateful for my trying, pressing times, even the ones that have cut deep, because without them I would still be a version of myself that in my heart of hearts, I don’t really want to be. The qualities that I admire most in someone? The strengths that make up the woman of God I truly yearn to be? They don’t come easily. They are forged in our spirits, not acquired. Empathy comes through pain; courage comes through battling fear; perseverance comes from pushing through; peace comes to us in the midst of storms; true joy becomes ours after we learn how to handle heartache; resilience comes after we have been knocked down and it’s a struggle to get back up; unwavering faith grows when what we see with our eyes doesn’t match up with what we are hoping for. These are gifts of immeasurable worth that God builds into us during the barren, painful stretches of our lives. These gifts actually grow to be the best, most life-giving parts of who we are. What a beautiful truth and a light of hope for our darkest days—our best will grow from the soil of our brokenness.
Alicia Britt Chole, in her book Anonymous, writes with such insight: “When pressed by testing, tempting times, it can strengthen our resolve to remember that trials and temptations are not the real enemy. Eternally, perhaps our greatest enemy on earth is losing perspective and beginning to value our fragile surroundings more than God’s faithful friendship in our lives. From that point of view, if God’s presence has led us into trying places, is there really any other place we would rather be?”
Because by far the greatest treasure of these hard places, where everything seems backwards and nothing seems right, is the treasure of Himself; His priceless, matchless presence. The presence of the One who promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (Isa. 43:2-3). And wherever His presence is, even and especially in the midst of our hard, painful places, it transforms our wastelands into holy ground.
Moses bumped into holy ground somewhere in the middle of nowhere; after his life came crashing down abruptly and he ran away from everything he had ever known. But God knew where he was and arranged a surprise meeting where all of Moses’ claims about who he wasn’t and what he couldn’t do were answered with a gentle but firm reminder that he was standing in the presence of the all capable I AM (Ex. 3). Hagar’s holy ground was in a desert, on the side of a road. She was pregnant, unmarried, unwanted, and completely on her own. But after her conversation with God, she knew two things: this was a Living God and He saw her (Gen. 16:13). David learned to recognize holy ground even in the valley of the shadow, where he could sing out he had no fear of evil because the Lord, his shepherd, was with him and was restoring his soul (Ps. 23:3).
God is present at all times and in all places. There is no place that can bar His presence, nor any season of our lives that He does not preside over. When we can recognize we are standing on holy ground even though, and especially when, our hearts might be breaking, our health may be failing, or our dreams might be dying, there is something that begins to build in our souls that is worth more than gold.
There is a knowing of God that you just can't gain sitting in straight rows in a classroom, but only in the trenches. There is a knowing of yourself—that you are broken, weak, and not at all what you desperately want others to believe you are—and it’s okay—because God has always known we are all smoldering wicks and bruised reeds. And there is a knowing of God’s goodness that you can never fully grasp until everything seems like it is falling apart and you find that even when it does, He still has you, He still loves you, and that is enough.
Hard places always lead to holy ground when we have the courage to keep walking forward. And it’s then that we find out that He was already there ahead of us, waiting with His arms full of grace, strength, and treasure.
~ By Heidi Keeler. Heidi is an ordained minister and served with her husband in youth ministry for many years. Heidi and her husband have two girls. Currently, she lives in Puyallup, Wash., and serves as part of the teaching team and pastor of development at New Hope Church in Puyallup, Wash. You can visit her blog at everydaycathedral.com.
