This article contains content related to mental health struggles. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or visit 988lifeline.org. Help is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
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Parenting a child with mental illness is a journey no one prepares you for. It’s not in the baby books. It’s not on the parenting blogs. And it often feels like no one else truly understands what you’re carrying. When traditional strategies don’t work and well-meaning advice falls short, it can leave you feeling isolated, exhausted, and defeated. But you are not alone—and you’re not failing. God sees you. He walks with you in the waiting rooms, the late nights, and the moments you feel like you have nothing left to give. These tips, drawn from both clinical insight and real-life parenting, are here to help you breathe, regroup, and walk forward with hope.
1. Don’t compare your child to other children without diagnoses.
Children with mental illness require a different style of parenting and some things you have tried with your other kids won’t work. I can't count the number of parenting books I've read. I've pored over expert advice for managing kids' behavior and dutifully implemented time-outs, reward charts, and stern, authoritative commands. I've begun each new “method” feeling hopeful that this one would be the one, only to finish it feeling defeated and hopeless. The problem with these books is that they are written for parents of children without mental health issues. It's not impossible that their methods will work for your child. It's just that there are other factors at play that might make them work differently. If your child is not responding to traditional techniques that work with children without mental health challenges, I recommend that you talk with your therapist about tools that can help.
2. Your friends won’t get it, so talk to other parents who do.
I’ve listened to other moms complain about their toddlers’ tantrums and thought, “My kid attempted suicide last week. I’d love a regular tantrum.” This doesn’t help. Find a group of parents who are also parenting kids with mental illnesses. You need a tribe of parents who know what you’re going through. You might find them locally or through a social media group. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has family support groups all over the country—you can search for one in your area.
3. Therapy is not passive; it requires work.
Many parents start their kid in therapy thinking they’re going to receive some magic pill that will “fix” their mental health problems. It is not that easy. The truth is that therapy is work, and most of the job falls on the patient and their parents. This might be a bit surprising at first, but the rationale is simple. You don't live your life inside a therapy room. If your child is depressed or anxious at home or at school, that's where you will have to address those problems. Therapy is a place to learn how to do that.
4. Know the symptoms of your child’s illness and work with a therapist on an action plan for dealing with them.
The good news is that your therapist probably has a huge bucket of tools to pull from when teaching you how to handle your child's symptoms. The bad news is that you might have to try several of them before you find one that works. Therapists and psychiatrists have lots of knowledge and research to draw from when it comes to choosing treatment. But that doesn't mean they'll get it right on the first try.
5. Psychiatric drugs should be prescribed by psychiatrist, not your pediatrician.
Many children may need prescription drugs to treat their mental illness. These medications can be extremely effective and improve quality of life tremendously. But taking psychiatric drugs without an evaluation for a mental-health provider can be dangerous, ineffective, or both. And precious treatment time can be lost. General practitioners do not have the right training to recognize when a patient might be better served by mental health specialists. Whenever possible, you should take your child to see a pediatric psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner for any psychiatric prescription drugs.
6. Parenting a child with mental illness is hard, and it takes a lot of work.
It's important to remember that your relationship with your child isn’t all about work and mental-health care. A good parent-child bond is built on love, trust, respect — and fun. Even though you love someone deeply, It’s hard to really like that person if everything you do with them involves work. That means you need to spend some time together doing things you both enjoy. When you're balancing school, work, and therapy appointments, it might seem like a chore to pencil in yet another thing. But it's so important, and I promise it's worth it. The fun stuff doesn't even have to take up a lot of time. My kids and I have a blast laughing with each other when we look at funny dog memes on my phone while we're in the therapist's waiting room.
7. Take care of your own mental health.
Several studies have found that parents of children with mental health challenges experience more symptoms of depression than parents of children without mental illness. It is not hard to see why. Parenting children with mental illnesses is stressful, hard work. And while you have this overwhelming responsibility to care for your child and their needs, you can’t forget to take care of yourself, too. If you're parenting a child with a mental illness while living with untreated depression, you can't breathe, Mama. You need to see your own therapist, take your own meds, or do whatever else you need to do to stay mentally healthy.
By: Nicole Order
For Further Study:
📖 Read:
💭 Reflect:
- How am I responding to my child’s pain—with fear, control, or trust?
- In what areas do I need to release my expectations and invite God’s wisdom?
- Where have I seen small glimpses of hope, even in the hard days?
🙏 Pray:
Lord, You know how deeply I love my child—and how helpless I feel some days. Please guide me, strengthen me, and remind me that You are holding both of us in Your care. Amen.
📥 BONUS: Download the Mental Health Crisis Guide
This printable Mental Health Crisis Guide summarizes tips in an easy-to-use checklist—plus includes a curated directory of U.S. and international suicide prevention and mental health hotlines, as well as Christian counseling resources.
Includes:
- A printable crisis response checklist
- Suicide prevention and mental health hotlines (U.S. + international)
- Faith-based counseling and caregiver support resources
