Dealing with Divorce and Separation

Divorce and Separation

While no one sets out wanting a marital separation or divorce, the unfortunate reality is that Christians are separating and divorcing at the same rate as the unbelieving world.  Every week, thousands of women sit silently in homes and churches across the country agonizing over their crumbling marriages with nowhere to turn. Families are left broken and fragmented, engulfed in pain and grief trying to figure out what’s next.   What can you do if you find yourself in this situation?  What can you do to come alongside the women in your life who are facing a marriage crisis? 


Books on Separation

Hope for the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed  by Gary Chapman

Many women find themselves in marital conflict that can lead to a separation. But does separation have to mean the end? You may not feel like reconciling. You may not see hope for a reunion. But the biblical ideal for a separated couple is reconciliation. So how do you do it? When things just aren’t working out, and even when your spouse has abandoned your trust, there is hope. This book will help you see how your marriage can be restored. However, recognizing  that restoration will not happen for everyone, Dr. Chapman also gives insightful advice for those who experience the pain of divorce.  

Broken Heart on Hold:  Surviving Separation  by Linda Rooks 

Having experienced the pain of marital separation but also the hope of restoration, Linda Rooks shares that hope with others. Having the correct formula is not enough. A person in marital crisis needs emotional and spiritual strength to get to the other side. In Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, Linda shares from her heart and her experience to help those in marital trauma find relief; to walk beside the reader to shed light in the dark tunnel of marital breakdown.

One More Try:  What to Do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart  by Gary Chapman

Distress or even separation do not necessarily mean divorce is imminent. Matter of fact, it’s possible that these may even lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. The outcome of this challenging time is determined solely by the individuals involved. If you’re willing to make the most of that process, then begin the journey with confidence as Gary Chapman walks you step-by-step towards healing and hope.

Marriage on the Mend:  Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation or Divorce  by Clint and Penny Bragg

The one thing all broken relationships have in common is that true healing takes time. Using the framework of Nehemiah’s effort to restore Jerusalem’s walls following the Israelite’s exile and captivity, Marriage on the Mend provides a clear framework for the restoration of relationships. This practical, realistic book identifies roadblocks that may stall relationship progress, recommends ideas to deepen intimacy, offers solutions to effectively handle past hurts and conflicts, and applies Scripture to every aspect of the process in order to proactively stabilize and safeguard the marriage.

Books for Divorce Recovery

When the Vow Breaks: A Survival and Recovery Guide for Christians Facing Divorce by Joseph Warren Kniskern

Written by a Christian who has lived through an unwanted divorce. This book is a valuable resource for those facing the dilemma and reality of divorce. In this divorce recovery guide you will find practical advice on kids, finances, anger, depression, and loneliness as well as a comprehensive study on what the Bible says about marriage and divorce.

Unraveling:  Hanging On to Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage by Elisabeth Klein

Elisabeth Klein Corcoran knows from experience. After extensive counseling, mentoring, 12-step groups, many tears, and even more prayers, Elisabeth found her 18-year marriage ending in separation and divorce. A believer completely in love with Jesus, Elisabeth was alone, drowning in a sea of emotions, and questioning how to navigate her way through the end of her marriage. Elisabeth walks readers through the varied emotions of being newly single in this collection of vulnerable and hopeful essays, expounding on some of the most common struggles of divorce: anger, faith, guilt, loneliness, and more.

Divorce Care:  Hope, Help, and Healing During and After Your Divorce  by Steve Grissom and Kay Leonard

In this 365-day devotional, you will meet men and women who have come through the darkness of separation and divorce and who now walk in the bright hope of God's love and healing. You will be encouraged and inspired by some of today's most respected and well-known Christian leaders and psychologists, including Kay Arthur, Dr. Tim Clinton, H. Norman Wright, and Dr. Tony Evans. The daily readings and heartfelt prayers in DivorceCare affirm God's love for you. You'll discover that the divorce process can be a powerful catalyst for good in your life, transforming deep loss into meaningful growth with God.

When Happily Ever After Shatters:  Seeing God in the Midst of Divorce & Single Parenting by Sue Birdseye and Shanty Feldhahn 

With abandonment and adultery, there is no five-step plan for survival, but there can be hope and healing. When Happily Ever After Shatters will be a comfort to those who grieve in solitude, and a hope-filled practical guide for those whose lives have changed irrevocably. Susan Birdseye will help readers learn to honor God when there is no hope of restoration, survive abandonment in and out of marriage, glorify God during a divorce, walk children gracefully through the crisis as a single parent, please God as a single person, again, and truly forgive the one who wronged them.

Collateral Damage:  Guiding and Protecting Your Child Through the Minefield of Divorce  by Dr. John Chirban

Collateral Damage sounds a wakeup call for parents. It identifies the landmines inherent in the dangerous terrain of divorce and equips them to help their children not to feel abandoned or unheard. The failure of a marriage does not mean the end of the family. Providing a stable, supportive, healthy relationship with your child demonstrates what a loving relationship looks like, better preparing them for intimate relationships and marriage as an adult.

Internet Resources

Hope Restored:  A Focus on the Family Marriage Intensive Experience

If you or a couple you know are in a hopeless place, Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored marriage intensives can help. Right now, your situation may feel like two people, too far apart, with too much damage done to save the marriage. But, before you and your spouse close the door forever, you owe it to yourselves and possibly your children to give saving this marriage one more try. Take one more step and contact us now at 866.875.2915.  You have everything to gain and so much to lose if you don’t.

DivorceCare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Don’t go through separation or divorce alone. 

DivorceCare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable DivorceCare resources to help you deal with the pain of the past and look forward to rebuilding your life. 

There are thousands of DivorceCare divorce recovery support groups meeting throughout the US, Canada, and in other countries around the world. There’s one meeting near you!

Connect with a DivorceCare group today.  Call US: 800-489-7778; International: 919-562-2112 or email at

While this is not an exhaustive list, it’s our hope that these resources for dealing with divorce and separation and the articles we have compiled below will be a starting place for encouragement, help, and hope as you work through a marriage failure or come alongside someone else in theirs.