Romantic Rituals

It’s so easy take relationship shortcuts. If we work together, even more so. Pressed for time, the small courtesies and kindnesses like opening the door for your mate, thoughtfully surprising your mate with his or her favorite snack, coffee, or treat is pushed to the wayside. Even vital romantic rituals like kissing when you say hello, or goodbye, holding hands when you walk to the car, or sit in the pew can be whisked away by the constant demands of life. Bill and I have witnessed the slow erosion that can happen to couples who become virtual strangers at home. Even the simple “I love you” can drift away like a love note tucked in a bottle then thrown out to sea. But you can stop the riptide of responsibilities from pulling you apart with one, simple choice: saying, “I Love You.”  

The Call 

It was midnight, and I expected Bill home at any moment. He was driving back from a long day in Southern California traffic, so I had been praying for his safe travels all day. I dozed a bit into a light sleep, only to have my cell phone’s harsh ring wake me. I heard Bill’s voice, a bit rushed blurt out, “I have been in an accident. The truck is totaled. The CHP is here. Will call you back. Love you.” 

“Love you. Be safe!” I replied as I heard the call click to an abrupt end. 

My mind was a blur of questions and emotions. I had no idea if or how badly he might be hurt. All I knew was he was alive and I was relieved! 

Hours later he called back. He needed a ride home. The truck had been rear-ended at full speed. The passenger side was demolished—compressed like an accordion. Nine times out of 10, I would have been in that passenger seat, next to Bill. I somberly concluded that I too had dodged death.

The Drive

I prayed as I got in the car at 2 a.m. to go pick up my husband. Fog had set in like thick pea soup so much that I could no longer read any road signs. “Lord, you have got to guide my car to get to Bill safely. He has had enough today—he needs me now and we need You to get us connected safely.” As I drove up to the address Bill had texted, I spotted my weary husband, standing alone, in the dark, in the fog, at the gas station, like the breaking of a dam, all the pent up emotions I had been holding in released. We held one another, and I sobbed into his strong, familiar chest, comforted by his rhythmic heartbeat.  

One of the verses that ran through my mind at that moment was Song of Songs 3:4. “…I have found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go…”

Neither of us wanted to release the other from this embrace of gratitude. The sobering reality of the very different outcome that could have been, led Bill to look intently into my eyes and say, “There is a reason, a very good reason, that on our honeymoon, 37 years ago, we committed to always say, “I love you” before parting, or as we hang up the phone, because one never knows when this brief life on earth will end.”

The Reality

The Bible is clear that death comes for us all. No one is immune. However, regret doesn’t have to add to the pain. 

We have several friends that did get the phone call that no one wants. One was a pastor’s wife who sent her husband on a mission trip in a foreign country, the other a courageous radio talk show host who was riding his motorcycle home to his beloved wife after going off air for the day. Neither of these couples saw heaven’s gates coming for their mate, but each widow was glad they had the romantic ritual of always parting with a hug, a kiss, the squeeze of a hand, or a prayer and the comforting, reassuring, powerfully connecting, “I love you.”