A Window into Each Other's Soul

"Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving . . ." (Col. 4:2 NASB)

We travel, and we really appreciate the hotels that have the small peak holes so that when someone knocks you can look out and see who’s there. That is what prayer is like. People usually aren’t phony when praying because it is a time of vulnerability before God. Couples that pray together get a window into each other’s hearts. You might feel irritated at your spouse all day, you might not understand why she did or said something, but during prayer, you get to see what was really going on in their life, their thoughts, and in their heart.

Spiritual intimacy is not only necessary, it’s possible. Reflect on these three areas of spiritual intimacy and how you can practice them in your marriage.

1.  Prayer is intimate.

It gives us a deeper understanding of our mate. Anything that gives a deeper understanding will deepen intimacy. Deeper intimacy creates the safety net for a nakedness of the soul, and if you are in a place, where you both feel comfortable when your soul is naked before each other, then the physical nakedness within marriage is the next logical step in the sharing of your life together.

2.  Reading the Bible is intimate.

The Bible is God’s love letter to each of us. If you know your spouse is listening to God, your trust level will grow. If you notice that your spouse is seeking to follow the commands of God, you will feel more relaxed when you are together. God has a complete love for you and when God has your mate’s attention, God will steer your spouse into making more loving choices toward you. As a result, the nagging rate naturally diminishes. And less nagging and negative corrective language and more positive affirming language is the cultivated, fertile ground for marital intimacy.

The influence does not stop with your spouse, however. If you are reading the Bible and praying, God will have your attention and make you a better lover. His love will flow through you to a grateful spouse.

3.  The Holy Spirit is intimate.

When we know Christ personally, the Holy Spirit resides in us and gives us the supernatural power to love. It is a supernatural power so that we can love, not just with our power, but also with God’s ability. And since the Holy Spirit indwells anyone who asks Jesus into his life and He knows the way your spouse was designed to be loved, you have the ability to become a great lover for your mate. You will notice that the Holy Spirit gives very specific instructions. He makes it simple enough that your only choice is to obey or disobey. In our life, it may sound something like this:

“Pam, what you said just now to Bill was unkind. He is a really good man and he deserves a gentle response.”

“Bill, go home. Pam does really need you right now. Do not do that next task, leave right now.”

By reading the Word and praying, you will develop the ability to listen for the Holy Spirit’s whisper, and those whispers will help you become a better person and a better partner. These spiritual disciplines will also draw you closer to each other if you make daily use of them as individuals.

Lord, help us make time for prayer, Bible reading, and listening to Your Spirit as we do these things so we might hear Your voice louder than any other. Amen