High-Wire Parenting

I was a gymnast growing up, so watching the courageous death-defying wire walks of the amazing believer, Nick Wallenda, has always captured my attention. Somedays as a parent, it feels like we are walking our own high-wire. In today’s society, life for our children feels like a precarious walk of faith in a very erratic world. As parents, we often pray for sure-footing in a world with shifting foundations and unpredictable winds of change.

Ever feel at the end of yourself as a parent? My husband and I have too! We know that when it feels like you are on a high-wire stretched over a deep spiritual canyon, prayer and God’s Word form a safety net of hope for you and your kids. However, some days it’s hard to see your children as God does: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Ps. 139:13-14).

“Hi-Wire” Days

One day, our then eight-year-old son Zach came into the house from playing outside with his brothers, Brock and Caleb. His brothers were in tears. Zach was beating on them again! Zach had a medical issue and a learning disability. He wasn’t very verbal, so when frustrated he used his fists. “Zach,” I whispered intently into his face, “You cannot do this. Hitting is inappropriate. Go upstairs, and I will come up to talk to you.”

Zach stomped up the stairs, pushing his brothers over in the process. He knocked off all the family photos hanging along the stairwell as he ran up the stairs in a rage. He slammed the door to his room and throwing a baseball at it, putting a hole through the door. I had prayed all the way up the stairs because I had made a commitment to never discipline in anger. However, I wasn’t angry. I was scared. I was frightened for my son and his future.

I walked in, bent down so I was eye-to-eye with him, and said firmly but calmly, “Zachery, I know you are angry, but you cannot use your fists to show it. You have got to learn to use words to express your feelings.” Zach exploded and yelled at me, hands on his hips, “You want words? Then I hate myself and I hate my life and if God made me, I hate Him too!”

I stood in shocked silence. I simply replied in a whisper, “I’ll be right back.”

Divine Intervention

I ran to my room in tears. “Lord, I don’t know what to do with this strong-willed child! Father you say inside each child is a treasure. Help us see the treasure!”

When I prayed that, an idea came to mind. I phoned Bill at his office and ran it by him and his reply was, “If God gave you this idea, run with it!”

Hidden Treasure

I had this idea to draw a treasure map on poster board and present it to Zach. “Son, you are a treasure to God, to us, and to this world. Each day I am going to ask you two questions:

1. What is one positive thing about your day?
2. What is something you did well?

“We will write your answers on this treasure map. A the end of eight weeks we will look for repeating patterns, and we’ll discover the treasure of you!”

That day was a turning point in our son’s life. He went from seeing nothing positive in himself to becoming one of the most positive people that walks the face of this earth. He focused his energy and strong will and eventually earned an athletic college scholarship. He served as team captain, leading to a series of national championships. He is currently a husband, father, and motivates student athletes to discover their God-given potential. As a Christian motivational speaker, he now helps people overcome their obstacles by discovering the treasure God has placed in them.