Kids Are Clay, Not Cookies

Making chocolate chip cookies with preschoolers requires a sense of adventure and a willingness to let things get messy. It doesn’t hurt if you’re able to overlook the ensuing chaos by focusing on the ultimate prize of homemade, melt-in-your-mouth treats.

When our daughter was five and son was three, we got out bowls and cluttered the kitchen counter with ingredients. We measured and mixed, our faces and the floor splotchy white with flour. We got sticky and things spilled. But when the buttery batter was spooned onto baking sheets and popped in the oven, the aroma of warmed vanilla filled our home. Minutes later we reaped our reward—cold glasses of milk with fresh-from-the-oven cookies.

Without realizing it, I started thinking that parenting was a similar process. Surely if I followed certain methods, poured in the right activities, and added ample diligence, we’d yield a batch of good kids, right?

Not many years later, my children hit their preteen and teen years. As they grew up, they messed up. At times they bore little resemblance to the kind of children we hoped to raise. What was happening? We prayed for our kids and taught them Scripture. We spent time with them, trying to authentically live out our faith. We involved them in church. We guarded their influences.

Why was our recipe for good kids going bad?

Through His Word, the Lord showed me an error in my cookie-cutter mentality and provided a better picture of parenting. Turns out, children are more like clay than cookie dough.

In the Bible, God calls himself a potter and describes us—His children—as clay. “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand” (Isa. 64:8).   

Some clay is pliable, while other lumps resist shaping or harden quickly. Children are complex individuals who make their own choices. Despite our best efforts, sinful, selfish decisions often come easily, just like they do for Mom and Dad.

Every day, and in every circumstance, God pursues us, desiring to mold and shape us for His purposes. It’s not up to us what we become; it’s in the hands of our Creator. We’re not to question the way things are turning out, we’re to trust that there’s a plan and a process beyond what we can see or know. A potter focuses on a work in progress, not a finished product.

I asked God to forgive my impatience. Recommitted to perseverance in parenting, I went to the kitchen to enjoy a cookie and the sweet assurance God is at work. I’ll keep faith and trust Him to finish the work He’s started with my family.