Forgiveness | An Act of Obedience

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matt.18:21-22).

Forgiveness. If we’re honest, we aren’t very openhanded with it and tend to withhold it until we feel ready, or the offender shows some indication of their remorse. Some of us have been known to say; “I’m praying and asking God to help me to forgive.” That sounds correct, but it isn’t biblical.

The fact is, forgiving someone is an act of obedience, not a feeling. Jesus wasn’t suggesting we forgive one another, He was commanding us to.

Peter thought himself charitable when he suggested that number. But Jesus wanted to show him that true forgiveness, like love, has no limit. In this account of the unmerciful servant, Jesus demonstrated how we should forgive (Matt. 18:21-35).

I have read the narrative hundreds of times and never understood why God would want us to become doormats. After all, if someone repeatedly wrongs you, how long before you decide you’ve had enough? It never made much sense to me. But, when you’re earnestly seeking God and asking Him to show you the error of your ways, He will.

Several years ago, someone hurt me. The individual was calculating and callous. It would be some time before they sought my forgiveness. As a Christian, I knew what I had to do, even though I didn’t feel like doing it. I told them I forgave them, and that it was good we put the matter behind us. However, it would be some time before I followed through with actions that proved my words.

During this season of conflict, God was teaching me that the temptation to relive the pain and anger would resurface often, and I had to choose to forgive every single time. I know this is not a new revelation, but I don’t think this truth can be stressed enough.

Months passed before I ran into that person again, and instantly my entire body tensed. My wounds were deep and justified, I thought. I was holding on to the offense like a comfortable robe. Only I didn’t know it was dirty. As I considered this portion of Scripture again, I realized I was behaving like a child, who had been caught treating his younger sibling poorly. I knew my Father expected me to say I was sorry, but I hadn’t forgiven from my heart (vs. 35). And that is how God wants us to forgive.

I have since surrendered the offense and offered forgiveness that looks a lot more like God’s supernatural love.

God doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor does He expect us to keep a record of how others have wounded us. His forgiveness of our sin should compel us to be more charitable with kindness, mercy, and love.

After all, isn’t that how we were won over?

Extend forgiveness today. When you do, you will walk unencumbered by the sin that so easily entangles.

PRAYER

Lord, forgiveness is such a hard act of the heart. So many times, I don’t want to forgive those who have hurt me. Instead, I want to hold on to the offense. But that is not Your way. Help me to forgive 77 times. Remind me in the moments when my flesh is weak and I don’t want to, that that is how You have forgiven me. Lord I am asking You to help me forgive_________today. Amen. 

By Nydia DiCarali. Nydia lives in New York with her husband of 22 years and is the mother of two teenagers. Additionally, she teaches women’s Bible studies and has coordinated retreats and conferences.