Blaming Others

When my youngest son was about five years old, our family went to visit my sister-in-law for the weekend. We were all outside enjoying the pool one afternoon when I ran inside to grab some extra towels. To my horror, I saw the alphabet written in crayon, in his handwriting, all the way down the hall. He was learning to write his letters and I suppose the freshly repainted hallway was just too tempting a canvas to ignore. When I questioned him, he looked at me with huge eyes and assured me that he didn’t do it. He went on to explain that it must surely have been his little sister—who was one year old. 

Blaming others isn’t something we have to be taught is it? We almost come out of the womb yelling, “It’s not my fault!” While today’s culture is awash with reality shows filled with people blaming someone for something, the Bible reminds us this is not a modern phenomenon. As far back as the Garden of Eden, when called on the carpet, Adam blamed Eve, who blamed the Serpent. This truth exposes a fundamental problem with human nature: we fail to take responsibility for our own lives. Why? Dr. Henry Cloud calls blame “comfort food for the soul.” This is a great comparison: comfort food makes us feel better momentarily, but doesn’t help solve any problems. A quote by Mason Cooley says it similarly, “Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better.” Excuses seem to let us off the hook so we can lay down the heavy load of responsibility—temporarily. 

The problem is that no matter how good the reasoning behind the excuse, you are still no closer to a solution for the issue being excused. A person who will not accept responsibility for their own life and instead continually blames others for what is wrong is a perpetual victim. Unless and until responsibility is taken, this life will continue in a destructive cycle and go nowhere. 

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells the parable of the bags of gold: A man called his servants before going on a journey, giving one five bags of gold, one two bags of gold, and one, one bag of gold. The first two servants went to work and doubled their sum. The last servant did nothing with his. Upon the master’s return, he praised the first two servants. The last servant immediately began to blame the master: “I knew that you are a hard man…so I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground…” (Mt. 25:24-25 NIV) The master called the servant worthless and had him thrown out. 

The issue we need to address is the same as the servants: what are we doing with what has been given us? We can certainly list everyone who has mistreated us and name every offense in an attempt to get us off the hook for doing nothing to take responsibility for our lives. However, when the excuses fade, we will still be dangling from the hook, and nothing will be different. Take action with what you have been given, and take responsibility for your life. Do something great with what God has given you!