One Year Later

I was visiting my parents while on leave from the military. I had been gone too long and I wanted them to get to know their precious grandchildren. Not long after we arrived, my mother sat me down and expressed her concern with the sassy attitude, disrespect, and foul language coming from her grandchildren. She raised an eyebrow at me and asked, “Where do you think they get that language and attitude from?”

I had a problem on my hands, and it was a direct result of my behavior. They learned it from watching me.

I loved God. I decided to accept the free gift of salvation that Jesus graciously offered when I was nine. God I loved; people were the ones who disappointed me. In my short lifetime I had been lied to, cheated on, beat up, called the most awful names to my face, talked about behind my back, and watched hypocrites in action. I was hurt and angry. I learned to expect the worst in people, and unfortunately, I came to hate people and it showed in my behavior.

That night, after everybody went to bed, I fell on my face before God and asked for forgiveness. I asked for healing. I asked for God to restore me. I started attending church regularly with a strong desire to worship my God and Savior. I dove into the Word, reading every day like a dehydrated sponge soaking in His love and instruction. That time on leave became a spiritual revival for my soul.

Going back to my duty station with a new commitment to God meant finding a Bible-teaching church and walking the talk of a believer. I had to let go of all my past injuries and forgive as I had been forgiven. I had to be obedient to the command to love my enemy and do good to the liars, cheaters, abusers, and hypocrites. I am called to be a light that shines in the darkness reflecting the love of God not just by what I say, but by my actions.

I would love to say my life became much easier after I recommitted my life to Christ, but it didn’t. I had my old life still inside me struggling with my new one. There were good times I acted in a way that I was sure put a smile on God’s face. There were other times where I’m sure I made God shake His head in loving disapproval. Each time He would stoop down, pick me up, and dust me off and give me another opportunity to do better next time.

A year later I came back to visit my parents. My two little ones were sitting on the floor playing. My mother smiled at me and said “What a big difference from last year. I can definitely see where God is working in your life and making you more like Him.” Anger and hurt have been replaced with peace and joy.

~ By Jennifer Terry