Why We Really Take Selfies

Niagara Falls is one of my happy places. Strolling on the meandering trails of the park on the American side of the Falls, I could hear and sense the rushing water. Humbled and awestruck, I stepped closer to the water’s edge, my heart pounding in anticipation. With the sounds of the Falls as my backdrop, I heard every kind of language imaginable as hundreds of international tourists lined up at the railings with backpacks, strollers, cameras, and phones. So many people, so many cameras, is there a spot for me? And then, there they were. Not one, not two, but what looked like hundreds of selfie sticks. 

Our Need to Be Noticed

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy technology and a gadget or two. After all, technology encourages brand new ways of interacting with each other, allowing us to communicate around the world. I admit to loving my phone’s camera and recording videos but nothing quite impressed me about the idea of taking selfies, and now, selfie sticks. What happened to enjoying the moment without having to record it? Why such need for self-promotion? Is technology satisfying our need to be noticed? 

It starts with a baby’s cry. Toddlers seek it through temper tantrums. Teenagers with rebellious overtones and skimpy outfits. Twenty-somethings with budding accomplishments. As we mature, we may not acknowledge our need to be noticed because we don’t want to appear self-centered. Instead, we develop more sophisticated communication and negotiation skills to get noticed. Or do we? 

A study was completed regarding the underlying motives behind selfie posts. Scholars agree that two distinct types of personalities emerge in the name of self-promotion. First, are narcissists who desire attention and love the entertainment factor. Second, are individuals with appropriate self-esteem who take pictures for archival and communication reasons. In the quest to be noticed, where do you fall?

Our Underlying Need

Posting items with the motive of self-promotion can also have damaging effects, breeding envy. Psychologist Tod Kashdan from George Mason University describes what happens when we look at posts. “They’re hearing all these great things happening from other people and they’re making a downward comparison to themselves. They’re viewing themselves as ‘My life isn’t as interesting or satisfying as other people’s lives look like,’” he explained. 

Our culture is increasingly obsessed with self. Pictures, posts, and counting how many likes or visits our posts receive is commonplace. Walk down the self-help aisle at a bookstore, and you will see this obsession ruminate. Could this obsession be an outcry of an underlying need we all have? 

Craig Detweiler, an expert on faith and social media serving as president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, states: “To me, so much of the crisis in our country and culture is rooted in issues of identity. People are feeling unseen, unacknowledged, and underrepresented. And they’re desperately crying out to be noticed, affirmed, and loved. I see selfies as rooted in our deepest hunger, our greatest longing.”

Satisfying Our Need

So if indeed this hunger is built into us by our Creator, how do we go about satisfying this need?

A project I’ve been working on is a collection of “God Noticed Me Stories.” What a joy to sit down and hear the varying ways God intimately noticed individuals in nature, relationships, trials, sports, music, and through His provision and protection. These stories all revealed how God is paying attention to the intimate details of our life. Once we notice how God notices us, the need to be noticed is satisfied. Deeply. Here’s one story.

My tires screeched as I pulled into a parking space at the mall. I only had 10 minutes before stores were closing. My needs were simple. White linen pants. God knows that I don’t like to shop. He also knows that I had already tried my favorite online stores with no luck and went to 10 different stores over the course of two days. Either right pants, wrong size or right size, wrong style. I tried not to get frustrated as I remembered there was no Plan B.  

In just a few days, I was headed to Chicago for a writing conference where I was meeting with publishers. Surely, God must know that a pair of summery, white linen pants would complement my wardrobe perfectly! As I entered the crowded store, the announcement blared: “The store will be closing in 10 minutes. Please bring your items to the check-out.” Feeling panicked, I scurried into the pants section fumbling through racks. Nothing. Another rack, nothing. Went to a different section. Nothing. And then, there they were. One lonely pair of white linen pants. Right style. Right size. Wrong price. Frantic, I tried them on anyway—score! Just what I was looking for. At this point, the price didn’t matter so I immediately ran to the checkout. As the clerk rang up my purchase, she stalled for a minute to enter some code—30 percent off. Yes! 

Excited, I attempted to share the story with her about how God noticed me. As she politely put the pants in the bag, I think I saw her smile as she watched me skip out of the store. Wow! The God of the Universe noticed me? As I started the car, much to my delight, worship easily poured over me as the radio played: “What a Beautiful Name It.” Two days later, wearing my summery, white linen pants, I stepped into the auditorium at the conference to hear everyone singing, “What a Beautiful Name It Is.” Just for me.

The God Who Notices Us

Honestly, the God of the universe doesn’t have to do anything for us. Yet He does. Every day. In fact, because of sin, we deserve punishment, instead He provided mercy. Each morning, the very breath we take tells us that He notices us. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness.” 

Although God may use technology to notice us, technology becomes a tool, not a source. He is always the person behind the scenes, orchestrating everything on our behalf to meet our need. Scripture says in Psalms 107:9, “For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.”

God noticed me on my shopping trip. God noticed me at Niagara Falls. After I stopped looking at the selfie-sticks, a quiet section near the Falls opened as many of the tourists moved on. I closed my eyes and listened, remembering that God knows how much I love the sound of waterfalls. This space, this moment was nothing short of majestic. Surrounded by the incredible sights and sounds of moving water, His power was so overwhelming, I was compelled to worship. The God, who knows every hair on my head, embraced me. Oh how He satisfies!  

~ By Susan Hoekstra. Susan is a writer, speaker, mentor, podcaster, and musician. She started AFFIRM GRASP Ministries  to encourage others towards a deeper understanding of God’s mercy. Healed from abuse, adultery, financial insecurity, family addictions, divorce, the loss of both parents and lost dreams, her journey to discover “who she is” resulted in discovering “whose she is.”