Mary and Me

My backyard swing is perhaps my favorite spot. It was given to me as a Mother’s Day gift twenty years ago and has moved with me to four houses. It’s where my husband and I, weather permitting, begin every day with a cup of coffee and our Bibles. It’s where Jesus and I meet the most. It’s where He and I have ministered to the weary, the broken, and the wounded.

It’s also in this spot that Mary, the Mother of Jesus, and I have frequently connected as I’ve taken time to process, pray, and “ponder things of God and treasure them in my heart” (Luke 2:19, 51).

Mary and I connect on so many levels:

• Like Mary, both of us had a personal encounter with the Lord as teenage girls.
• We both know what it is to have our souls pierced (Luke 2:35).
• We both know what it is to watch a son suffer and die.
• We both know what it is to turn our mess into a message of hope that will “ripple” and reach generations to come (Luke 1:46-50).

Like in Mary’s life, time and time again, the Lord has shown up in unexpected ways, stepping into my ordinary life on an ordinary day and extending extraordinary invitations that have led me to unforeseen circumstances.

The Lord has asked both of us to do the impossible made possible only by Him; the One who works best in impossible situations. It’s been in the context of these impossible situations that Mary’s example has helped me identify and overcome two significant fears that I’m sure we can all relate to!

1.  Fear of Inadequacy

There have been times when I’ve wrestled with my identity in Christ. I’ve been greatly troubled at His words and wondered what kind of greeting and invitation He’s extending to me. I’ve questioned the Lord’s calling in my life. I have felt like He’s chosen the wrong person.

I’ve used Mary’s words, “But how can this be?” seeing as……” and I go on to explain all the excuses why this cannot be! Giving Him every reason why I cannot possibly do what He’s asking of me (Luke 1:34). That’s when all my deepest fears and inadequacies come pouring out: the fear of failure, rejection, and “not-enough-ness.”

Through Mary’s example, I’ve learned:

• It’s not who I am but Whose am I.—Not simply favored but highly favored, chosen, and called (Luke 1:28, 30).
• It’s not about what I cannot do—but what Christ can do in and through me. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37)!
• It’s not about what lies ahead—but about my humble obedience and simple faith in the fulfillment of His promises (Luke 1:38).

Which leads me to my second fear…

2.  Fear of the Unknown

Fear of the unknown is a very real thing. It is debilitating, paralyzing, and stifling. And sadly, if we give into it, we’ll never know the good that can come out of it. We will never know what “could have been” if only we hadn’t given into our fears.

I could never have guessed where the Lord would lead me to fulfill my calling: church conflict, burnout, ministry to pastoral couples dealing with all kinds of challenges, painful ministry transitions, the demands of hurting churches full of hurting people, and perhaps most profound of any of the above; the death of my own 19 year old son after a year of battling leukemia.   

Whatever has been involved in my calling, I’ve learned the importance of turning my misery into ministry.

• Mary has taught me the importance of a simple, willingness to comply with God’s plan—whether I understand it or not. None of us knows what the future holds. But we know Who holds the future.
• Mary has shown me the importance of surrounding myself with those who come alongside, encourage, listen, and speak into my life. Those who “get it” or “get me.” People like Elizabeth was for Mary (Luke 1:36-56).
• Mary’s journey reminds me that the Lord is not only with me, but He’s empowered me with His Holy Spirit (Luke 1:35).

As my backyard swing sways gently back and forth, I ponder all the treasures that my heart has stored up. My thoughts are transported to another place in time when a young teenage mother embraced her infant son for the first time before laying him in a manger. Then another scene floods my soul in the same heartbeat as that same mother embraced her adult son at the foot of a cross.

Mary could have never known where her calling would lead her. But through her example, I am given the courage to face my own fears. Because you see, perhaps what Mary has taught me most is that being called is really not about me at all. It’s about the glory of God.

It seems fitting that as I wrap this up I use Mary’s words,

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation (Luke 1:47-50).

“Glorify the LORD with me. Let us exalt his name together” (Ps. 34:3).