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To Burnout and Back

Life’s demands can easily get out of balance and become overwhelming. If we’re not careful, we become “human doings” rather than “human beings”.

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I’ve always been active—working best under pressure, high energy, multi-focused. A “do it all, do it all myself, do it all at once, and do it all as fast as I can,” an all-or-nothing kind of person.

I come by this tendency naturally. I grew up in a house with a revolving door, people were forever coming and going, and I never wanted to miss a party.

At fifteen, I began a personal relationship with Jesus and entered the fast lane of ministry. On the heels of my newfound faith, I went to Bible college, married, and entered full-time pastoral ministry. Eventually, for survival as much as anything, with four children under six and an absentee husband (focused on our growing church), I donned my cape for a day in the life of superhero Lisa Elliott—faster than any freight train, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

I gave new meaning to the verses, “I can do all things through Christ,” and “Being all things to all people” (Phil. 4:13, 1 Cor. 9:22). I was indispensable! Everyone’s happiness and well-being was up to me! Not to mention that people were impressed.

You name it, I did it: Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, Children’s Music, Worship Leading, Women’s Ministry, Adult Fellowships, and so much more. I entertained at least two ladies per day, four to five days a week. I was the neighborhood welcome committee, hosting children with cookies and Kool-Aid, providing meals to new neighbors. I worked around and accommodated for my family’s and David’s overwhelming schedules. Thank God for Kraft Dinner and microwaves!

I loved it. I thrived on it! I was addicted to ministry and the adrenaline rush and fulfilment it gave me as I rose to the applause of anyone and everyone I encountered. I lived by the motto: We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have been doing so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing!

1.  Recognize the Signs of Burnout

Chuck Swindoll has well said, “The trouble with success is that the formula is the same as the one for a nervous breakdown.”

One night, I lay in bed beside my husband, shaking, stuttering, and sobbing as the wheels began falling off my wagon. Together, we began listing all the ministries at church I was responsible for. We came up with seventeen! Could it be that I was slightly imbalanced?

My consuming passion for ministry, plus its emotional demands, led me to experience burnout. I wrote in my prayer journal, “Lord, I feel weak, tired, out of control, behind, disorganized, needing space and desiring to quit everything. Total defeat in every aspect of my life might well define my feelings these days.” I was overwhelmed, overworked, overtired, and just about over the edge. I was spending so much time doing what I had to do that there was no time to do what I wanted to do. Resentment took root in my heart.

I was grateful to learn from a popular passage of Scripture found in Luke 10:38-42:

[Jesus] came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

There are a few signs that indicate something wasn’t right. Martha was distracted by all the preparations, having a self-pity-party, and she envied Mary’s listening luxury. Additionally, she demanded that Jesus do something about it. Amid her doing, Martha lost perspective of spiritual matters and exchanged them for secondary matters. Her greatest strength became her greatest weakness. Sound familiar?

2.  Analyze your Motives

How often do we get caught up in the details and preparations of ministry and doing for Jesus rather than being with Him? We, too, get “worried and upset by so many things.” We get caught up in the diapers, deadlines and To-Do lists, people pleasing, fear of failure, rejection, or letting others down, adrenaline, guilt, peer pressure, expectations, unexpected crises or circumstances in our lives. No matter which way you slice it, life’s demands easily get out of balance and become overwhelming. We lose perspective, joy, and even hope.

3.  Recognize the Most Important Thing

Stress is the accumulation of too many good things. You see, what Martha was doing wasn’t wrong—after all, she was serving her Lord. She reminds me of myself.

She shot from the hip. She didn’t mince words. She got things done. She was task oriented, mission-minded, generous, efficient, and a practical need-meeter. She wanted what was best for Jesus—she was using her God-given gifts to serve Him. She was speaking her language of love!

Then, what’s wrong with this picture? It wasn’t what she was doing, it’s what she was forfeiting to do it: the most important thing. Martha had invited Jesus in! Now she was too busy serving Him to spend time with Him. Performance substituted intimacy. If only she’d realized that all Jesus really required of her was her company. He didn’t ask for a five-course meal—He would have likely been satisfied with a glass of milk and a peanut butter pita!

Jesus said that only one thing was needed. Mary had chosen what is better, the important thing: Jesus. So must we.

4.  Utilize the Rest Stops

Life gets away from us, priorities get shifted—all the more reason to take time out from the demands and schedules and responsibilities, everything weighing us down or becoming burdensome.

In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). He is the source of our strength, our joy, our peace of mind, so we need to make regular, intentional, quality and quantity time to simply rest, to seek first His kingdom and His Righteousness, and to renew our perspective. “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isa. 40:31). Everything flows out of a right relationship with the Lord.

I wish I could say this was a lesson learned once, but God continually reminds me to take inventory of my life, often in a doctor’s office. The good news is that as I allowed the Lord to do the cleansing work of His Holy Spirit, He began the painful process of pruning and re-prioritizing my life.

As I slowly gave into my exhaustion, I responded to the Lord’s invitation to come away to a quiet place and get some rest (Mark 6:31). I started by taking a full month off for rest, solitude, and evaluation. I slowly learned the value of being still and knowing that He is God (Ps. 40:10) on a regular basis. I experienced the truth that “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength” (Isa. 30:15). As I took time out to reflect on where I was at, I was able to finally hear His still small voice speak into the recesses of my heart. “What does it profit you, Lisa, if you gain the whole world but lose your own family?” (my paraphrase—fill in your own blank).

I share this with you because I know I’m not alone! Life is full of demands for all of us; whether you’re a young mom, a grand mom, or caring for aging parents, single or married, working full-time, or retired. If we’re not careful, we become “human doings” rather than “human beings,” not stopping long enough to examine if what we’re doing is truly what God wants for us.

Check to see if you can relate to these symptoms of burnout:

For those who are experiencing burnout, or those who wish to avoid it, here is a practical checklist:

1.  Make sure you take time to invest in and nurture your personal walk with the Lord.

Take time, like Mary, to sit at the feet of Jesus on a regular basis. Take time to be still and know that He is God.

2.  Take inventory of what you are involved in.

Delete (remove those things, responsibilities and people that are unnecessary in your life), Delegate (it’s so much more productive to share the load rather than bear it all yourself), and Delay (perhaps there are things in your life that don’t suit the season you’re in. Hold on to them for another).

3.  Take regular time off.

If you don’t “come apart,” you’re bound to “come-apart.” Find an oasis, a place you can go to for strategic retreats.

4.  Set healthy boundaries.

The recipe for feeling like a failure is trying to make things happen in people’s lives that you are not responsible for! There is freedom in boundaries. Give yourself permission to say “No.”

5.  Pour into those who will make investments rather than withdrawals.

They will energize you rather than deplete you.

6.  Get enough sleep.

The power of sleep is completely underrated.

7.  Exercise regularly.

Even a fifteen-minute walk will breathe air into your lungs and clear your mind.

8.  Seek support and help carefully.

Employ “selective vulnerability.” Be quick to forgive, but slow to entrust.

9. Grieve your losses.

Recognize that you may not be able to do all you’ve been doing, and that’s okay. “For everything there is a season” (Eccl. 3:1).

10. Build more laughter into your life.

Life gets serious in a hurry, and life is too short to miss today!

"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me; For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls" (Matt. 11:28).

Doesn’t that sound inviting?

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