Cultivating a Well-Tended Soul

The soul is the very core of who God created you to be. The concept of your soul (nepesh in Hebrew, psuche in Greek) refers to the self, life, breath, the heart; the very essence of a person.  To care for your soul means that you draw on God at all levels—mentally, emotionally, relationally, physically, and spiritually—and that you are being consistently transformed, renewed, and freed through the life of Jesus. It means to incorporate healthy rhythms into your life so that you are able to truly be yourself and pour into others out of a full tank. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, “Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently.” 

Our model is Jesus. I find Henri Nouwen’s classic article “Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry” so helpful in learning to feed my soul. We see patterns of Jesus pulling away from the crowds to be alone with the Father, drawing life from unhurried, uninterrupted intimacy. We see Him interacting in authentic community, gathering around the table, sharing day-to-day life with friends and family. And we see Him pouring out His power in the ministry, taking His marching orders from His Father instead of being pulled in every direction by the manipulation and control of others. 

It’s so easy to lose yourself in ministry and life. Instead of Jesus’ healthy, holy rhythms of solitude, community, and ministry we run on a cycle of “Run, Crash, Burn, Recover, and Repeat.” For many of us, our soul runs on fumes. Instead of being well-tended and well-fed, our soul shrivels from benign neglect, leaving us tired, weary, and apathetic at best…bitter, angry, and resentful at worst. 

Here are a few questions to assess the state of your soul in a rhythm of solitude, community, and ministry… 

1.  Solitude 

Our twenty-first century life of busyness, noise, social media, and technology leads to what consultant Linda Stone calls “Continuous Partial Attention” or CPA. We become incapable to giving our full attention to our spouse, our children, our friends, our work, and especially to God.  We were not designed to remain “always on,” hyper-connected 24/7/365. Mark 6:31-32 says,  “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”  So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.”

• Do I know how to enjoy being alone with God? (For many, the thought of solitude is equated with loneliness instead of joyful, refueling connection with Jesus.) 
• Is there enough silence and stillness in my life to hear the voice of God through the noise? 
• Is there space in my life for God to act?
• Am I a “self-feeder”?  Do I systematically study the Word, pray, and spend time with God on my own?
• Should I set aside a block of time—an afternoon, a day, a weekend—to just be with the Lord?
• Is my life too busy, too loud, too scheduled, or too “peopled”?
• Am I afraid of being alone with God?
• Do I know how to sit in solitude at Jesus’ feet?

2.  Community

God designs us to connect on a vertical plane with Him, and on a horizontal plane with others.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together said, “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community.  Let him who is not in community beware of being alone. Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair.”

• Do I have true friendships?  Or just acquaintances? Sadly, most people in ministry have few or no genuinely life-giving friends.
• Is my spouse one of my best friends? 
• Has ministry taken a toll on my marriage? My family?
• Do I have any spiritually deep connections? Do I have any soul friends?
• Am I trying to be a “Lone Ranger” Christian?
• Are there people in my life who know and love God and know and love me enough to give me the hug and slug I need?  Do I have the needed accountability to warn me when I’m heading in the wrong direction?
• Which friends provide mutual, reciprocal support and encouragement?
• Who in my life consistently points me toward Jesus?
• When did I last laugh until my face hurt? How do I have fun? Do I play? Do I have anyone to play with?

3.  Ministry

I truly want to be able to say, as Jesus did: “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4). But there is so much work to do. I get sidetracked by the demands and I feel inadequate to the task. Soul care ensures that your ministry flows from the Lord, not from your own limited strength.

• Am I taking in without giving out?
• Am I giving out without taking in?
• Does my ministry flow out of my communion with God and my connections in the body of Christ?  
• Am I serving out of gratitude, love, obedience, and freedom?
• Is there a root of self, guilt, performance, pride, competition?
• Am I coming to God with my availability alone for His plans–rather than my own agenda?
• It may be very challenging, but is there joy in ministry? 
• Am I working out of my spiritual gifts? Do I know what my spiritual gifts are?
• Am I doing what God has assigned? Or do I run myself ragged trying to meet the expectations of others as well as my own?

Well-tended souls are alive toward God, enjoy true community with others, and are comfortable in their own skin. We must be proactive stewards to honestly say, “It is well with my soul.”