Being Present in Our Grief

Jesus was truly present: physically accessible, sharing Himself, entering into places of pain, grief, and loss. What an example for us in our own grief.

One of my favorite things about the gospel stories of Jesus is how truly present He was: physically accessible, sharing Himself, entering into places of pain, grief, and loss. What an example …even when we’re experiencing our own.

True confession: It’s far easier to minister to others when my life is relatively calm. Another confession: Ministry during personal times of loss is more tender. I think it’s because I’m more totally dependent on the Spirit to pour out what I simply can’t. I know that grief and loss strip us to a place of humility and authenticity; I can’t give in to the temptation to dole out simplistic spiritual “sound bites” when my own heart is aching. I have to be present and yielded.

Principles for Being Present in Our Grief:

1.  Look for the Man of Sorrows

Our Jesus, acquainted with grief, is in this with us. By His Spirit, We. Are. Not. Alone. Ever.

2.  Take Our Own Counsel

How would we coach someone else who is walking through grief and loss? What would we emphasize in terms of healthy self-care and boundaries, heightened time alone with the Lord, extending grace to oneself, leaning into the grief process, seeking professional help, or allowing others to minister?

3.  Share

As the Spirit leads, be willing to be real, to reveal your brokenness. Galatians 6:2 indicates that some burdens are meant to be carried together, not all alone…it’s part of biblical community.   

4.  Refreshment, Not isolation

Do what is soul-restorative, which certainly includes rest and downtime, but be cautious of the enemy’s tactic to draw us into isolation. My particular red flag: a pattern of too much television for too many nights by myself.

5.  Embrace It

If God truly inspired Paul to write Romans 8:28 and Philippians 1:6 and Ephesians 3:20, then He’s allowed this season into our lives for good purposes. Take hold.

By ~ Elizabeth Cole

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