More is Caught Than Taught

Our kids catch things, and I don't mean colds, flu, or the chicken pox. I'm talking about kids catching our values and attitudes; our faith, our very hearts They are like blotters soaking up what they see and experience, constantly watching, evaluating, learning, and incorporating from everything we do. "More is caught than taught," John Maxwell said. "You can teach your kids what you know but you reproduce what you are." 

If we want our children to catch a living, rich, vital faith that will sustain them through life, then we must own such a faith. We cannot give them what we do not possess and they cannot catch what they do not see.

Scripture captures this truth in Deuteronomy 6:5-7: "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. And you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house."

It is not until our heart and souls are fully committed to loving God that we can effectively teach His ways to our children when they sit in our house. We can tell our children to have a strong active belief system all day long, but if they don't see it illustrated in us, the message doesn't penetrate their hearts. 

Kids can easily detect hypocrites and phonies make lousy coaches. The practice of our faith won't be perfect, but it must be genuine. How will our children judge our faith to be genuine? In two ways:

1.  By our understanding that knowledge of the Word alone just doesn't cut it. It is the daily practice of God's commandments that verifies a genuine faith.

2.  By how we handle tests and trials. A genuine faith endures in the face of trials and holds fast to God's faithfulness. For our faith to have an impact on our children we need to remember it is not so much what happens to us but how we handle it. 

"More is caught than taught," John Maxwell said. "You can teach your kids what you know but you reproduce what you are." 

What have my children caught from me? Certainly they have observed and been disappointed by my inclination toward sin and serving the flesh. They have been witness to my struggle in "laying aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles me" and hinders my race. I tremble when I think of what my children have caught from me. It fills me with regret and a deep sadness. But I trust they have also caught my love for God and His word, my compassion for the ministry and God's people, and my fierce love of family.

I taught my children that forgiveness was possible when my husband and me grant forgiveness to a church that rejected us and slandered our good reputation. Forgiveness wasn't easy and certainly not based on feelings. We forgave because God commanded it. Both our son and daughter were attending seminary at the time, and I was gripped by the realization that they were watching how we handled difficult situations in ministry.  

I taught my children that God is the Blessed Controller of all things, that He lovingly and intricately weaves together the many details of our lives. The truth was not caught until one church board reneged on their promise to allow us to move out of the parsonage and into our own home. We were all disappointed. It was hard for us to see how God was in control in this situation. It seemed that men had the upper hand. After some struggling, we decided to accept the board's decision as God's plan for us.  it all became clear when in six months we were called to a new ministry. 

I worked hard at teaching my son not to live by his feelings. "I don't fee like it," was his favorite expression. "It doesn't matter how you feel - just do it!" I would replay. I know he has caught this principle because now as a youth pastor he is often heard saying to his group of junior highers, "it doesn't matter how you feel - just do it!"

Yes, kids catch things. They can catch our attitudes or imperfect manners, but they can also catch a deep passion for God, a set of convictions strong enough to carry them through any temptation, a framework of belief that they can build their lives upon. Kids catch the very essence of who we are. What are your kids catching from you?

~ By Jackie Katz