There’s a Snake in My Marriage Garden

Marriage, being God's idea, had to be good! Perhaps it was because marriage was His idea that He accepted in the person of Jesus Christ the invitation to the wedding at Cana in Galilee that we read about in John 2. As I wrote our wedding invitations to our relatives and friends, I sent one to heaven straight from my heart. It read, "The future Mr. and Mrs. D. S. Briscoe request the pleasure of the company of Jesus Christ at their wedding." I had an instant reply by airmail, "Delighted to accept!"

He was coming! How exciting! What would He do? Well—nothing if He wasn't asked. I knew that from the Scriptures. The problem with the marriage at Cana seemed to be that He was invited as a mere guest, not as governor of the feast. The governor was the one who was in control, gave the orders, and was obeyed. I didn't want Christ to be a guest on the same level as my loved ones and friends—there merely to add a bit of religion to the scene. I did not want the wine of our love to run out nor our relationship to become insipid, colorless, and tasteless. I knew that the secret lay in His preeminence as governor and our obedience to His commands. "Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it," (John 2:5, KJV) was the best wedding advice we'd heard anywhere. How foolish of us to buck the divine principles and do our own thing when the Bible taught that our joy (through obedience) would be better than anything we had experienced in our relationship before.

Now I discovered that the snake was still in my garden! Never did I expect him to turn up as consistently as he did in our early days of married bliss! The snake hates any marriage that has the Lord God in control, walking and talking in the cool of the day with the two He made especially for each other and for Himself. God placed man in an ideal environment, but even in Paradise something was missing. "It is not good that the man should be alone," said God (Gen. 2:18); so He set "the solitary in families" (Ps. 68:6), and He started in Eden.

The first hissing suggestion I heard from the snake, as I happily washed, cooked, worked, and cared for our baby David in those early years of marriage, was the usual misquoting of Scripture for which the snake is renowned. Because it sounded familiar to me, I was taken off guard.

"It is not good for man to be alone," he hissed in my ear. "God never intended it, so why does that Christian husband leave you alone so much? He should be here to help you with the baby and the work instead of being busy with God's business!" Next time you hear the hiss of the snake, check up on his quote. I didn't. If I had, I would have remembered that the verse about being alone referred to the man and that the woman was created to help the man, not vice versa.

The fruit of self-pity looked good to me, so I ate it. It immediately created a desire in me to encourage my husband to eat it also.

"Why don't you stay home on the weekends and evangelize here?" I asked him. "Look over there outside that Cat's Whisker coffee bar across the street. All those young people need to hear the gospel. Why preach to a dozen little old ladies in church?"

Now let me assure you—I couldn't have cared less about the needy young people across the street. I was simply using them as an excuse to get my own way. I was lonely, and so I was manipulating to get Stuart to obey me rather than God. And I was using a religious excuse to accomplish my purpose. How true is the Scripture that says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked" (Jer. 17:9, KJV).

Looking out of our windows and across the street, my husband commented simply, "What do you think you are here for? You reach them.”

A thousand excuses leapt to my lips. "My job is to be your wife and look after you and the baby while praying and supporting your ministry. I haven't time!"

"Well, you've more time than I have," he replied. "Jill, God doesn't ask you for your husband's time, or your child's time; He asks you for your spare time!" And with this he packed his case and was gone!

“Well, said the snake, “how unfair. Anyway, you can't go over there and talk to them. They’re another generation. (I was 23 years old!) Get some teens to go!” This last was said with a smug hiss, as he knew the only Christians I’d met were very young in Christ, shy and nervous. Of course he’d forgotten the principle of 1 Cor. 1:26-28, and therefore made a bad mistake.

Seeing a way out of my involvement, I accepted Stuart’s advice and decided to invite three or four young people to do those things I didn’t dare to do. I would stay home and pray for them (nice of me!) and make an English cup of tea (which is what you always do in times of crisis) in case they needed to retire from the battlefield to recuperate.

The Lord was about to teach me a lesson. God leaned out of heaven and said to me, "Jill, you're right. It is not good for man to be alone or woman for that matter, especially if the man is called away to be about his Father's business. I'm about to rectify the matter and send you some company!" As my three brave, but quaking, teens went across the road to approach dozens of wild-looking youngsters outside the coffee bar, the establishment was closed because of a fight; my three well-trained evangelists panicked and invited everyone back across the street for a free cup of English tea! Looking out of what I had believed was in my safe little cocoon, I discovered with horror that the time had come for to become a butterfly!

"There you are, Jill. We brought them!" my evangelists announced triumphantly. The kids streamed into the house filling every room, chattering and kidding.

"Yes, you did!" I replied weakly. I heard the Lord chuckle. I'm sure it was the Lord. I knew it wasn't the snake, as he wasn't in the mood for laughter! Late into the night we talked and witnessed and argued and prayed. Very near midnight my husband returned from his preaching engagement, tried to get in, and couldn't! Hearing Stuart's knock, a lanky youth with hair dyed in different colored strips opened the door a crack and muttered, "Sorry, mate, there's no room!"

It was a new beginning for both of us. My spare time bulged with positive activity, while Stuart fought his own battles with his heart about his involvement with the teens. I sat down and made a note of my daily routine and blocked off my spare time, setting it aside for God. Young people were finding Christ, and follow-up Bible studies began in our home. I thought back to our beautiful wedding service and the text a preacher had spoken from: "the people heard that (Jesus) had come home" (Mark 2:1). So it began to be, and the crowds came until, like the Bible story, they could hardly get near Him because of the "press" (Mark 2:4, KJV). I prayed, "Oh my Lord, may Your presence in our home be 'news' around town!”

I came to realize that even though I had committed my life to Stuart, this did not mean I had committed my relationship with God to Stuart! That was still my responsibility. Even though we could read and pray and learn of Him together, even though God had a special plan for our lives collectively, I needed to fulfill His plan for my life individually! I needed to guard my own personal devotional time and not let collective devotions take that place. God had work for me to do—spiritual work in areas that my husband never would have had time or talent for.

Our home could be my fishing boat during his absence. Our baby could be a means of contact among other young mothers in the park or at the store. I had a commission from God not only to care physically and practically for my family's needs in a manner that would bring glory to Him, but also to bring the Gospel to every creature. I must not abdicate that responsibility just because I had gotten married!

So many legitimate excuses to fade off the spiritual scene were available in those happy days. As Martha, I was careful and troubled about good and necessary things, but I needed to remember Mary's better part—to sit at His feet and look in His face and listen to His Word (Luke 10:38-42). And when I did that, I was continually reminded that two people made one must equal twice the impact for His Kingdom! As God's Word says, "One [of you will] chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight" (Deut. 32:30).

Reprint from There's A Snake in My Garden by Jill Briscoe (Harold Shaw Publishers) Colorado Springs, CO. Used by permission.