Break My Heart Lord

“My eyes fail from weeping, I am in torment within, my heart is poured out on the ground because my people are destroyed” (Lamentations 2:11).

“What I see brings grief to my soul because of all the women of my city” (Lamentations 3:51).

Have you ever had the experience of God’s Word hammering away at your conscience? I have. When I first came to the States, I resisted getting involved with the women’s work at church. I didn’t particularly enjoy women and much preferred working with teenagers. However, God does not allow us to choose to work with those we much prefer! He wanted me to work with women. 

I reluctantly answered an invitation to go to Memphis, Tennessee and speak at a women’s retreat. I had no other reason to go than that Stuart knew of the work and encouraged me to go.

A wonderful woman who loved working with women led the retreat. Just my luck, I thought to myself, watching her surreptitiously. She’s going to know I don’t want to be here. I was right. She did know because my attitude was showing. Those bad attitudes always peek beneath our behavior like a slip hanging beneath a dress. She spoke to me at the end of the conference. “You are a good speaker technically, Jill, but it’s obvious you don’t like women!”

“Ouch!” I replied. “You’re right, and what’s more I’ve no intention of liking them because if I do, I’m afraid God will just give me a whole lot more of them to like!”

I was really disturbed about that incident. When I got home, I spent some time alone with God and dared to ask Him to speak to me from His Word about it. A word from Lamentations “came to” or “happened to” me that night: “Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city,” lamented Jeremiah (Lam. 3:51, KJV). Here was a man lamenting over women, while this woman—me—cared little about her own kind. Jeremiah’s heart was broken for the daughters of Jerusalem and their grim state. Mine was not. But I could give God the permission to take the hammer of His Word and break my heart as well. And that is exactly what I did that night!

The release that night was palpable. Starting with six women in a home investigative Bible study, God gave me a heart for women that has resulted in reaching thousands of women around the world with His Word. 

All He wants is for you and me to say, “Break my heart, God,” and He will. He will use the hammer of His Word on the anvil of your life, and you will find Jeremiah’s experience to be yours as well. 

If God’s Word dwells richly in us, we will live and work with a broken heart—and it will show.

PRAYER

Lord, break my heart for the things that break Your heart. Forgive me for being selective at times and not letting You choose whom You prefer me to love, serve, and minister to. I can be so shortsighted and miss out on some of the greatest blessings as a result. Use Your Word like a hammer in my life to move me to Your perfect will and purpose. I want Your Word to dwell richly and deeply in my life so I am always in tune with Your Spirit. Give me Your compassion for the people around me, especially those whom I may not want to love. Amen.