Be in the Word

After God gave me a husband, I thought that I would be free of a covetous spirit.  And yet a few years into our marriage, I found myself struggling with envy all over again.

It happened when Stuart and I were serving a youth mission.  Fortunately, I knew I needed to be in the Word, and this helped me to recognize the warning signs. Whenever I began battling the spirit of covetousness, I read the Bible a lot, looking for verses that directly applied to my situation.  I became jealous of all the time the other wives on the mission station had with their husbands.  Why does my husband have to be away all the time, I asked myself.  I was jealous of the nights my fellow missionary wives had together with their men!  But I got in the Word, and I searched it for clues.

One day I read the parable of the laborers in the vineyard.  The workers in the parable got in an argument about how much money their boss paid them.  The boss answered, in no uncertain terms, “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money?  Or are you envious because I am generous” (Matt. 20:15)?

I sat still after reading that and thought about it.  Of course it was lawful for the owner of the vineyard to treat his workers as he saw fit!  It was his vineyard and his money, and they were his workers.  I knew God wanted me to apply this parable to my own situation.  At last I was able to get on my knees and say, “I don’t doubt it’s lawful for You to do whatever You want with Your own.  Stuart is Your own.  So it is not up to me to tell You where he should work or when he will work or how long he will work.  He is one of Your laborers in Your vineyard.  I know it’s lawful, but it feels awful!  Anyway, God, do with Stuart what You will.”

What a huge relief!  I gave up the insistence of having my own way. Then God filled my heart with love for Him and for my husband, and I stopped envying those who had their husbands at home. The relief was the same as I had experienced that day long ago when I had first written my list and let it fall into God’s hands.

So be in the Word and apply it to your situation.