Recovery from Grief and Loss

I believe in the resurrection and the life that Jesus bought us on the cross. I believe that death has lost its sting. I believe that though we mourn, we do not mourn as those without hope for our hope is in Christ. With all that said, I still find myself looking for a way to numb the pain every time I say goodbye to a person who has been an intricate part of my life.

When God called home a trusted prayer warrior, the silence from her absence was deafening. I missed having a safe friend who always stood beside me. All of a sudden, ministry felt daunting. The mission was always hard, but I always felt surer knowing she was praying for me several hours a day every day. How would I make it without her?

To help me cope, I studied Peter, James, and John, biblical examples of co-laborers in Christ who survived the loss of each other.

They were part of Jesus’ inner circle. They were with Jesus when He raised Jairus’ daughter from the dead. They were with Jesus during the Transfiguration. And they were the three Jesus invited to witness His sorrow in the Garden of Gethsemane. Then after Jesus ascended into heaven, and during the time when the apostles were entrusted with the expansion of the church, Acts 12:1-2 tells us, “It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword.” Imagine how Peter and John must have felt losing James so soon after Jesus was no longer with them. Did they lose James at a time when they were still adjusting to Jesus’ absence and feeling an emotional need to lean on each other or to draw closer toward each other? Why did God’s timing and purpose include allowing James to be killed when he was one of the three closest to Jesus and would have played a critical role in being a witness for Christ?

Because the loss of a loved one is something I have struggled with, I wanted to know the secret power that Peter and John possessed in their ministries. How were they able to keep serving without losing momentum in the midst of a personal loss? I was intrigued by their resilience.

The Bible does not tell us the steps to recovery or the right way to grieve a loss. Instead, what we read are details of how Peter and John did not skip a beat and began sharing the gospel message with their community. Is the secret to recovery an immersion strategy where we throw ourselves into activity? Or was there something else going on with Peter and John that we can learn in overcoming losses today?

Peter and John immersed themselves in activities with eternal consequences. They were consumed with being witnesses to the risen Christ. They personally witnessed Jesus being lifted from earth to heaven. When the Resurrection becomes part of our reality, life takes on a totally different perspective. The Resurrection redefines our reality. It reminds us how temporary life is on earth and that real life begins when we enter eternity. What matters most on earth are the decisions we make on this side of eternity that affect our future in an eternal kingdom. Peter and James’ focus was on Jesus’ second coming and the urgent need to tell the rest of humanity their need for a Savior.

I believe the key to finishing our mission in spite of loss is to adjust our perspective. We were created to be eternal beings and time on earth compared to eternity is but a twinkling of an eye. While on earth, God has a mission for each of us to complete and He gave us His Holy Spirit so we would never have to walk alone. When I get lonely I pray, “Holy Spirit, hold my heart” and I push forward with the attitude, “This could be my last day so let me remind the world that God’s kingdom is coming.”