Recently, a friend asked me in the most compassionate way, “Are you all right?” I was surprised that it showed and deeply moved that she noticed. Because the truth of the matter was, I wasn’t all right. As a result of that encounter, God encouraged my heart reminding me that I wasn’t invisible and alone. In the rush of her life, my friend could have easily passed me by, but instead she slowed down long enough to see me and then to go deeper with me in a way that somehow just lightened the load with her question, knowing that she cared.
My guess is that at one time or another all of us have felt invisible—or that somehow we don’t matter—just one more person lost in a crowd drowning in our mess. We’re yearning for someone—anyone—to see our pain, our struggles, the real us in the raw. But because of the pace of life, we speed by people and we miss seeing them—we fail to really look deep into their eyes to see what’s there, to notice what lies just beneath the surface. And it’s what lies beneath that matters most—especially to God. In our drive to be productive, we miss an opportunity for an eternal encounter.
Pope Francis calls this a “culture of encounter” where we no longer pass by people in a hurry, without noticing them or recognizing how they might be struggling or suffering. “As Christians, we have to get to know people, to befriend them, to listen generously to them, to walk with them. This is not because we have all the answers to their problems or can cure all their afflictions, but simply because these encounters—these small acts of love and compassion, understanding and friendship—are precisely what people need most” (pastoral letter on Hope and Healing).
My mother, who was on a large church staff for over 30 years, always amazed me when we walked the halls together. Every single person that went by was greeted with a cheery hello and a connection that said, “I care; I see you; You’re important.” She knew everyone’s name (a huge feat in itself!). I watched as every face that was the recipient of that affirmation of importance lit up. That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is—it’s practicing a culture of encounter. It’s what Jesus did. One person at a time, we can have encounters that can change their lives. No more feelings of being invisible.
Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to think about making a difference in people’s lives; to help a hurting world. That’s because we’re thinking big things—what if we looked for little things with big impact? To approach it one encounter at a time—this is where the difference in people’s lives can be made: the looking into someone’s eyes to see their pain and then giving them an invitation to be listened to; the stopping to compliment someone doing something ordinarily unremarkable that no one else notices; or stopping to help a frazzled mom get her kids through the grocery store checkout.
How many times have we heard that “the eyes are the windows of the soul?” Psychologists say “our eyes don’t lie and the best way to see someone is to look them in the eyes—the place where their soul really speaks.” If we don’t stop long enough to look into people’s eyes and linger there, we’ll miss what’s really going on in their souls because our eyes really do give us away—they are the doorway to the heart.
When you look at the gospel, this is really the Jesus way. Follow Him through the personal encounters He had in His life and ministry, and you’ll see a man of encounters that changed the world because He stopped to see! He always looked deep within the souls of the person in front of Him.
Like Jesus, we need to keep our eyes open for the people God has exclusively assigned to us. A culture of encounter is love in action and demands that we roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty. Jesus, after all, emptied Himself of all comfort allowing His body to be dirtied and soiled with our sin. Likewise, He calls us to an encounter lifestyle as well.
What an incredible way to help a to share the gospel in human form—especially in today’s impersonal and unkind world! Let’s notice the people around us starting with our family, friends, coworkers—and the stranger—and let’s offer them “small acts of love and compassion, and understanding and friendship.” As Christians, let's strive to truly see and help this hurting world.
Lord, help us not to miss a single one of these encounters today. Give us eyes to see!
