Scripture encourages us to pass on our faith and values and equip our children with the practical ability to find a life-calling and a fulfilling career. We can pass on skills, values, beliefs both formally (setting aside time to teach and train) and informally (living out the values in front of our kids).
Formal: Psalm 22:30-31 spurs us all to be proactive in our education of our children and grandchildren: “Our children will also serve him. Future generations will hear about the wonders of the LORD. His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born. They will hear about everything he has done.” These verses encourage us to set aside time to tell our kids about the wonders of God.
Informal: Our values, beliefs, and “how–to live” philosophies are more “caught than taught,” so it takes experiencing life and living out values together as a family that helps the formal stick. Deut. 6:6-7 explains how to accomplish this: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
Formal Foundation
Each family is unique, so finding your own routine and rhythm is the key to success. As parents, it is still a great idea to accept the responsibility that we are called to disciple our own children. Some options to accomplish this range from home-schooling to a weekly family night, daily family devotions, and prayer time or a dinner and dialogue “question and conversation” time.
In our own family, we cultivated this baton-pass by using the duel tracks of formal and informal in a variety of ways.
In our book 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, and 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex we share the core tradition that became the foundation of our family to build a strong home and strong leaders at each stage of their lives growing up. We call this, Learner and Leader Day.
When we were in youth ministry, we looked around at the kids who were doing well and noted they had certain character qualities, leadership traits, and life-skills:
God: We wanted each child to own their own relationship with Jesus.
Learner: We wanted them to have a teachable attitude.
Leader: We wanted them to lead in their own personality style and find their passion and God’s calling in life.
The FORMAL components of a Learner and Leader Day were:
- a Learner and Leader Contract delegating age-appropriate responsibilities and privileges.
- a leadership trait to focus on for each child
- a gift and blessing to applaud God’s strength and calling in a child’s life.
The gift should be practical, personal, and prophetic that speaks to the promise and potential of each child. When they hit their teen years, a set of new agreements are added for media use, driving, relationships, education, and dialogues to launch well as an adult into college or career.
Informal Foundation
The INFORMAL element is a fun family day on Learner and Leader Day. Most years our Farrel Family Fun Day was a simple day at the beach or picnic at the lake, sometimes combined with back to school shopping. Every few years, we might have our fun day at an amusement park or splurge for a hotel with a great pool or waterslide.
Typically, the schedule on Learner and Leader Fun Day was to simply enjoy the day together and talk over the “contracts” over the meals of lunch and/or dinner. Goal-setting, spiritual growth planning, and character development were woven into happy, positive, fun memory–making.
Make time this week to talk through how your family will lay the two tracks: formal and informal in your family life rhythm and schedule so that you can accomplish the baton pass and have a fun family!
