In 2011, my triplets were born at 29 weeks, each weighing about 2.5 pounds. When my daughter Brooklyn was three-weeks-old and just three pounds, she contracted an intestinal infection in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). It was the scariest time of our lives. We didn’t know if she would make it. The first surgery was not successful and the doctors told us she wouldn’t make it if they didn’t attempt a second one. They wheeled Brooklyn down the hall in her incubator, preparing to operate again on her little body. For a split second, Brooklyn opened her eyes, and my husband’s and my eyes met hers. The next few hours in the waiting room were excruciating. I am so thankful to the Lord for the sweet relief we received when the doctors told us, “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.”
During those grueling five months of going to the NICU daily, the last thing I thought about was doing necessary tasks like cooking and cleaning. People rallied around us in practical ways by bringing meals and cards, doing laundry, cleaning, praying, and giving us food and gas gift cards. I was relieved when people didn’t say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but just did something to help.
Instead of teaching this phrase to our kids by our example, let’s show them how to love by going ahead and filling a need or asking specifically how to help. We can train our kids to be aware of others’ needs through teaching, acting, doing, and asking.
TEACHING
Teaching our children Bible verses and stories allows God’s Word to settle into their hearts and minds.
An impactful verse to memorize together is John 13:34: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Singing these verses and using hand motions make learning easier and more fun. Reading Bible stories with our kids also reinforces the importance of loving God and loving others. The Rhyme Bible and The Jesus Storybook Bible retell biblical stories for children in engaging ways. As we memorize verses and read Bible stories with our children, they will begin to understand what matters to God and His words will take root in their hearts.
ACTING
Acting Bible stories out is another way to teach our children how to be aware of others’ needs.
When our family acts out the Good Samaritan story or the Feeding of the 5,000 when the boy shares his lunch, these stories come to life. You can also act out specific situations to prepare your kids to look for ways to love someone. For example, pretend one of you is a lonely child sitting by himself, act out loving the child by sitting with and talking to him. It was a sweet moment when my daughter Brooklyn said she came alongside a new boy at church who looked lonely.
Another fun idea is to give your kids scenarios so they can guess which one shows love. For example, if there is one cookie left but two kids, which response shows love? A). eating the cookie yourself or B). thinking about the other person and sharing it? Another example is when a neighbor asks how you are: do you A). answer and then only talk about yourself or B). ask them how they are and show interest in their life? One more example is a boy in a wheelchair wants a book from the shelf but can’t reach it. Do you: A). grab a book for yourself and walk away? or B). ask if you can help and get the book for him? My children love coming up with their own examples as well. As we act out ways to love others, our children will learn to love with action and not just words.
DOING
When we love others by doing and filling needs we see, our kids follow our example.
As the author Bob Goff writes, “Love does.” Talk with your kids about a family who could use a meal. As you cook together, discuss how a meal will help them out. Volunteering at a senior living center is a practical way to teach kids about loving those who are lonely. So many widows live at these centers, and smiles light up their faces when little bundles of joy visit them. During our visits every other week, my kids read books and colored with the residents. Joy was not only present in their hearts, but also in my children’s. Donating their hair after a haircut is another simple way to teach our kids how to meet a need and bring joy to someone at the same time.
ASKING
Asking our children for ways to meet others’ needs and not filling in the blanks for them fosters their own creative ideas and excites them to serve others.
Jesus asked over 80 questions in the book of Luke alone. Let’s imitate Jesus and discover the gems in our children’s minds by not just giving answers, but also asking questions.
You can create a “Love Others Jar” with your children writing ways to love others on small cards and filling the jar with them. First, ask your children for ideas they have for the jar. The ideas that fill their minds when we take a step back are beautiful. Then, each week or month, a child picks one card for the family to fulfill. (For 40 card ideas to print out, visit my blog).
Some examples include writing encouraging chalk messages on a friend’s driveway, leaving anonymous notes in a friend’s mailbox about why they’re special, making a meal for someone, bringing new toys to a hospital, or having your kids choose some of their own toys and clothes to give away to a shelter.
Our seven-year-old triplets love picking cards from the jar. If joy is connected with loving others, our children are far more likely to get excited about it. As they participate in the “Love Others Jar,” these small acts of love become instinctual, and being other-centered takes precedence over being self-centered. As Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
Teaching, acting, doing and asking will encourage our children to be aware of others’ needs.
Over time, loving others in practical ways will become second nature to them. They won’t ask, “Let me know if you need anything,” but instead they will just do something to help. I am grateful for each person who loved us during those difficult days in 2011. I am also so thankful for the miracle of watching my now seven-year-old triplets become aware of those in need around them and do something about it. Let’s find opportunities to serve others with our children so we can follow the commandments Jesus says are the greatest: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:37, 39).
~ By Linsey Driskill. Linsey is a wife, mother to triplets, writer, and speaker. Additionally, she's been published in: Focus on the Family, Her View from Home, MOPS, ForEveryMom, and Just Between Us. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook @BeautifulHeartedParenting.
