The number one question we got asked when we made the unexpected move from Uganda to the United States was, “Will you go back?”
I wanted with everything in me to scream “YES!” We hadn't sold our house and it was still there set up exactly the way we had left it. Our whole lives, our precious community, the people of Amazima, and everything we knew as comfortable and familiar was there in our little town, in our sprawling green yard on the banks of Lake Victoria. It was our home. Of course we would go back.
And yes, we have been back to visit many times and will always continue this back and forth, this unconventional one-foot-in-each-world life, but as much as it still hurts a little to type it out on paper, God has made it clear that He has us here for now. And in order to really be here and fully engage in all God has called us to here, we need to make this home, at least for now.
Anyone who has left a home to find another knows it – it can be excruciating to let your heart split wide open for a place while simultaneously holding it all loosely in the knowledge that God might call you to leave it. And as I miss the home and community that taught me so much and made me who I am today, I am reminded of a younger version of myself, a child really, who chose to say goodbye to family and community and a life that was comfortable and familiar to chase an adventure with Jesus that would shape her.
It's not quite the same, but it is familiar in so many ways. I have done this before; most of us have.
Life is a whole string of seasons of rooting and uprooting, changing, adapting, and growing. And if I am honest, my initial thought as I realize this is “don't get too attached.” And there is wisdom in this, to be sure – don't get too attached to your home, to your stuff, to all that is temporary and could weigh you down in the face of God asking you to leave it and go. But anyone who has known me long knows that I get attached.
I fall hard and fast for places and people and when I love you, I am all in, all the time. And so I think the lesson I am learning isn't just “don't get too attached,” but get attached to the things that matter. Only, ever, attach yourselves to things that are eternal – people, ministry, discipleship.
And I think the only way we can practically do this is if we are living out of the full assurance that Heaven is real and Heaven is our home. The only way to live lightly enough that I can pick up and go where He sends me but deeply invested enough that I can make true disciples of people I am in deep, vulnerable relationship with is to, as Paul says, “fix my eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen, because what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.”
It's all temporary, except the people. And if you, like me, are in a place of really loving your home or your community or your stuff, that can feel a little sad. If you are in a place where you are lacking a home or a community or things that you need, I hope it feels hopeful and encouraging to know that you will one day have all those things forever.
But the thing is, Heaven isn't this Sunday school picture so many of us have of all of us floating around in the sky with Jesus. It's everything we see and love here, restored, made new. It's the deepest feeling of home and the deepest love of community you have every experienced, but better. We have that to look forward to.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no heart has imagined what God has in store for those who love Him.” Greater than anything we can imagine. That is our forever home.
So I am here in Nashville and I'm going to keep getting attached – to cute little coffee shops with young baristas and to hiking trails that remind me of the magnificence of our creator and to neighborhoods with winding streets where I rub shoulders with neighbors from all around the world – but mostly I am going to love people deeply and with abandon, keep letting my heart split wide open for those He places in front of me and keep pointing them, to the best of my ability, back to Him. I hope my home in eternity is a little more crowded because of my short stint on earth.
That's what it's all about, after all.
Read:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing" (Isaiah 43:18-19)!
Reflect:
- What old habits or mindsets might be holding you back from fully following God?
- How can you focus on the “new thing” God is doing in your life?
- What steps of faith can you take to trust Him more deeply?
Pray:
Father, help me let go of what is behind and embrace the new plans You have for me. Give me faith to step forward and courage to trust You with the unknown. Amen.
