Sooner or later someone you love is going to die. It could be a parent or grandparent, your husband or wife, a favorite aunt or uncle, or your best friend. You wonder what will happen. You want to know how to give comfort, what to say, or what to do. It can be challenging being around the very sick or dying person, especially a family member or friend. You can be at a loss for what is the best way to love them in this stage of life. We have put together some resources that we hope will help you in this delicate walk of comforting and caring for the dying.
BOOKS
Sharing Christ with the Dying: Bringing Hope to Those Near the End of Life by Melody Rossi
A loving compassionate guide to talking with your family and friends about Jesus. When your friend or family member is facing death, here is the help you need to share Christ in loving, non-confrontational ways.
At the Edge of Life: Conversations When Death is Near by Richard L. Morgan
Drawing on 60 years of experience as pastor, hospice chaplain, volunteer, and friend to dying persons, Richard Morgan offers perspective and advice to people coping with a family member, friend, or patient who is approaching the time of death.
The Ben Ripple by Lisa Elliott
Wonderful insight for walking alongside a dying child through the journals of a mother. You will be inspired by this mother’s story and hope in Christ as she walks her son to the doors of heaven. A great resource for how a family copes and struggles to walk alongside a dying family member.
What Do I Say? Talking and Praying with Someone Who is Dying by Margit Banta
Talking with those who are dying can be difficult even in the best of circumstances. There is a need for guiding family members of the terminally ill, as well as friends, caregivers, and even those more experienced in talking with the dying clergy, pastoral ministers, hospice workers, and medical personnel in understanding the best ways this can be done. What Do I Say? provides that guidance. It comes from the heart of author Margit Anna Banta who, in her work as a pastoral minister with the dying and terminally ill, noted the lack of an accessible resource for family and friends caring for a loved one that can help them in their conversations with the dying person. What Do I Say? covers both practical matters and spiritual and emotional topics, always mindful of the fact that many people in their final days are not able to talk about or express what they are going through. It touches on areas that should be addressed before someone dies, such as a will, DNR orders, funeral planning, and other topics, and gives suggestions for what to do if someone is non-communicative or unconscious. The last chapter includes prayers to say when family and friends visit with their loved one. This is not a comprehensive end-of-life planning or medical guide, but a brief overview of how to communicate with someone who is dying. Above all, the book stresses that conveying a sense of loving presence and a willingness to listen are usually what is most needed.
WEBSITES
Mayo Clinic
Terminal Illness: Supporting a terminally ill loved one by Mayo Clinic Staff
A helpful article for when terminal illness affects a loved one. It isn’t always easy to know how to react. Find out how to offer support and deal with the grief.
National Institute on Aging