By Marilyn Pritchard
“I’m bisexual.” When my daughter, through tears, first uttered those words to me, my heart broke a little.
It broke for her, knowing she had kept this secret from my husband and me for several years, not daring to tell us for fear of what our reaction would be. Would we still love her? Would we kick her out of the house? Would we treat her differently?
But my heart also broke for myself. How would I tell my family? Would my church friends treat me differently if they knew? Did I still qualify to serve in ministry?
At almost the same instant, I realized something. I didn’t love her any less. She was still the same person I carried in my womb for nine months, prayed for, hoped for, planned for; who, as a toddler, would crawl up on my lap so we could snuggle together while we read bedtime stories; who ran to me with her skinned knee, knowing that a kiss from Mommy would make it all better; whom I prayed for during those tense teen years when I wasn’t sure what she was thinking or who she believed in.
And God doesn’t love her any less either. This is what my husband and I tried to instill in her as soon as she told us. After all, He knit her together in my womb, He knew all her days before one of them came to be (Ps. 139:13-16), and she is made in His image, just like you and me. Just as I couldn’t love her any less, her heavenly Father, who loves her more than I do, cherishes Her as His own.
Since that first day our daughter came out to us, my husband and I have been on a journey of learning to understand her better and love her well.
First, we got involved in a group of other Christian parents with LGBTQ+ children. There, we have been able to process our feelings within a group of like-minded, supportive individuals. We’ve also have read many books that have helped us on our journey, among them Guiding Families of LGBT+ Loved Ones, published by an organization called Lead Them Home. I’ve also taken part in an intensive, two-day course developed by Lead Them Home called Posture Shift, designed to help equip churches and other Christian organizations to love and care for LGBTQ+ people better than they have in the past.
RESOURCES TO HELP:
People to Be Loved by Preston Sprinkle
Single Gay Christian by Gregory Coles
Space at the Table by Brad and Drew Harper
Lead Them Home which offers online and print resources for Christian leaders, parents, and LGBT+ individuals, as well as in-person training for churches and families.
The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender Preston Sprinkle’s organization, which offers small group discussion guides, webinar, and other resources for individuals and organizations.