Suffering takes on many forms and faces. But triumph through any trial is very possible when God's people know how to creatively, aggressively, and sensitively draw alongside the afflicted one to minister His presence and love. Here are three things to remember when you are faced with comforting the suffering.
HOW TO COMFORT THE SUFFERING
1. You Can Help
Be aggressive in your approach to help. Don't confront one who is suffering and say, "If there is anything I can do, please call me." Rather than relieving responsibility, this creates it.
Instead, offer specifics. "When can I come and take your children to the zoo?" " Would tomorrow be a good day to come over and clean your house?" "What do you need from the store?"
How well we will always remember the discouraging day when we returned from the hospital after bed rest was ordered. A friend appeared and announced that she had already organized women to regularly clean our house and care for our children. Meals were scheduled to arrive each evening.
If you have suffered in a similar fashion, your words and listening ear can lend great comfort. An acquaintance, now a dear friend, began to faithfully call me during my time of bed rest. I felt a special freedom to express my innermost fears to hear, since she had gone through a similar trial. Her understanding was unique.
It isn't necessary to be close to the suffering in order to offer comfort. Some of the most meaningful messages to me came through cards and calls from people I had never met.
2. Be Yourself - And Be Creative
Use your gifts and talents specifically. Do not put yourself under presser to perform a task that is undesirable to you. Consider what you can do and like to do. Then be creative – the possibilities are endless.
A care package sent to us from faraway friends contained foods fun to munch on, books, magazines, and family photos that brought their presence near.
Those who know well the lift a warm loaf can bring brought in fresh bread often. One friend brought ice cream with cones from our family's favorite ice cream shop.
We anticipated a lonely first Christmas away from our extended family. But when the day came, a family arrived, and the daughter and mother spread a feast on our dining room table: turkey, complete with all the trimmings, plus tall, colorful Christmas candles. Our dismal Christmas day was turned into one we will never forget.
3. Be Sensitive to the Real Needs
Finally, be sensitive to the real needs of the one suffering. It is a myth that a hurting person constantly needs company. Call before you visit, and ask, "Be honest. Would you like to see me today?"
When you do call on the person, resist the temptation to say something profound unless your advice is requested. G. Campbell Morgan wrote, " Silent sympathy always creates an opportunity for grief to express itself."
Above all, do not speak beyond your own experience. Telling someone that everything will be all right when you have never known the depth of his or her hardship is an empty statement. Think carefully before sharing Scripture, and ask yourself if what is spoken will communicate comfort or condemnation.
~ By Jill Sciacca
