Getting a handle on the big picture is useful before you begin loving a person in need. Here is an area you need to know before you cross the street or pick up the phone.
Know Your Place
Knowing your place in the life of the person in crisis will help you know how to respond. The following list of questions might be of help as you do this.
- Are they part of a church family or in my church family?
- Do they have family living in close proximity?
- Are there circumstances hindering my involvement?
Once you begin to think about the answers to these questions you will start to feel the nudge to either get involved immediately or wait to determine the best way you can help. Your level of relationship falls within the following categories:
Tier 1: caregiver/close family or friend
Tier 2: friend/neighbor/co-worker/church member/sports teams/shared interests or organizations
Tier 3: acquaintance/friend or family-of-a-friend/knowledge by association
Tier 4: infrequent interaction/don’t know them personally/never met
As you considered the list of questions, you should find yourself falling into one of these tiers. You cannot force yourself into someone else’s personal situation simply to make yourself feel better, especially if you have a Tier 3 or 4 relationship with them. However, as you begin to help in appropriate ways, your relationship to the person could change over time. Embark on your alongside journey with an open mind and a willing heart, letting God be your guide. And, be okay with your tier.
If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t try to shove your bare foot in the front door.
In General...
Tier 1 or 2: You likely feel the need to help immediately because of your close relationship with the person.
Tier 3 or 4: If you have reservations about reaching out, it’s likely you aren’t very close to the person. Be patient and pray. I believe you will discover an appropriate way to express your support.
~ By Sarah Beckman. Excerpted from Alongside by Sarah Beckman. Morgan James Publishing: New York, New York. Used with permission.
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