Love your neighbor, they say. Love them as you love yourself. What if you haven’t figured out how to love yourself? Who is your neighbor? How far do you have to go to love them? The list of questions is often long when it comes after a phrase like love your neighbor─ the solution while simple, is more complex and gray, than black or white.
This isn’t another “love your neighbor speech.” There’s no magical formula for how to win “Christian neighbor of the year.” Life isn’t so much about doing as it is about being. It took me a while to figure that out, which might seem ridiculous coming from someone who has lived just over three decades of life. My name is Ashley, Ash for short. I am a blackish, 31 year old, who has learned best through trial and error. I am a doer, some may say achiever, who is focused on doing the right thing, as best as it can be done and as efficiently as possible. Most of my life, I have lived into the narrative that I had to earn my status. So it’s natural that being a neighbor would be one more thing I would attempt to master.
So much of our Christian faith is about the unexpected moments. Jesus continually shows up in unexpected places, with unexpected people, and with an unexpected agenda. Which often meant there was none. He was so good at being present and meeting people right where they were. He owned being inconvenienced. In fact, it wasn’t inconvenient at all. He took great joy in meeting people’s brokenness with His deliverance, His hope, and His purpose for their future, not for any personal gain, but so that His people would have life.
My unexpected moment came almost a decade ago. I found myself on the northside of Milwaukee, at a place called Hope Street. It is conveniently nestled in “the hood” or in the part of town that many people avoid. Truth be told, I was scared to go my first time. I didn’t know what it would be like.
In the beginning it was awkward. While my introverted self is completely okay standing off in the corner observing, I found myself longing to be a part of what was happening. I found myself immersed in a community that was completely comfortable with being unashamedly themselves─mess and all─beautiful reflections of our Father and yet tormented by the brokenness of our world. Each face was an invitation for me to consider vulnerability over the mask I had grown to know (and loathe). Each interaction was an opportunity for me to see just how similar we were, even though in many cases there were years between us, and hard things like drug use, promiscuity, or any other broken choices human beings face. In spite of it all, was a deep desire to explore the gift of being known and loved still.
Here’s what I can promise you: it will be difficult to love yourself and then others. In many cases excruciating. Any real life change is. However, I can also promise you a peace beyond any understanding and a deeper connection with yourself and other human beings that is beyond anything you can imagine. I think it is a window into what God wants for each of us.
Our hearts can break for what breaks His and that well is vast.
In the end, walking out my front door was more about me finding my life than helping anyone else find theirs. I learned that outside my door was where Jesus was asking me to meet Him. To push the boundaries and dare to go where I had not been, to step out in faith instead of resting where I was comfortable, to see that where I end and He begins is freedom, love, and grace. So what’s outside your front door? Who do you need to see? Is it you through His eyes? Take the step, it’s never too late to explore how He sees you and who knows you just might meet a new neighbor in the process.
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