The warm sun brightened the afternoon as we enjoyed watching our son play Little League baseball. His little sister and brother sat nearby entertained by small toys from home.
And then it happened.
She walked up with an inviting smile covering her face.
“Hey, Shelley.”
“Hi.”
“Um, are you pregnant?”
“No. Just fat.”
“Oh, good! ’cause I thought to myself ‘oh laaaaawd, Shelley better not be pregnant again!’”
And then she walked away.
Just. Like. That.
Confession time—I immediately began to wonder how quickly I could have another baby. That would show her ...
The thoughts that followed spiraled downward. My cheeks burned, and embarrassment crawled all over me.
And then I got angry.
How rude!
Who does she think she is?
Like she’s perfect or something …
Why do super-thin people think it’s okay to embarrass those of us who are … well … not super-thin?
Of course, you know, I didn’t say any of this out loud. Instead, the thoughts swirled around in my heart for days.
Truth be told, I held it against her for a long time. I had imaginary conversations with her in my head. I planned for our next chance meeting at the ballpark. I was pretty clever with some of the things I conjured up. And even though I never asked God for help with it, I knew my thoughts did not please Him. My thoughts were self-centered. They evened the score, but my thoughts were bitter.
I found myself consumed with body image.
Do I look pregnant?
How could I let myself go like this?
What a disappointment.
I didn’t pray about it. I didn’t read my Bible. I relied on my own perspective and somehow thought the end result would be a good thing. The worst part was I never even considered whether the end result would honor God.
So, in the meantime, I did the only thing I could do and I avoided her.
If I could have a do-over ...
“Um, are you pregnant?”
“No. Just carrying a little weight from my last baby.”
“Oh, good! Cause I thought to myself ‘oh laaaaawd, Shelley better not be pregnant again!’”
Smile.
“Shew! No, not anytime soon. But I’d appreciate it if you pray for me as I try to eat right.”
James 3:17 reminds us the wisdom that comes from heaven—God’s wisdom—is pure and peace loving, full of mercy and gentle. Perhaps if I had relied on the wisdom from above, my response would have been pure, peaceable, and gentle. Not only toward my friend in my thoughts but also toward myself.
The word intreat is the old English word for entreat and means to ask for earnestly. God’s wisdom is easy to request. God’s wisdom is full of mercy and good fruits. God’s wisdom is void of partiality and hypocrisy—and there for the asking. If you and I intreat God’s wisdom, He will answer.
God’s wisdom also comes with a price. When He answers our request, we have a choice to make. Sometimes we only have a whole millisecond to do the right thing. As we raised our four children, my husband and I often repeated our own words of wisdom, “Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it.”
A rude response to a hurtful comment is not okay.
Let’s face it. Thoughtless and downright mean comments are going to happen. Often times people feel a freedom or a license to say whatever they wish to women in ministry leadership positions simply because of our placement. We can be prepared for such moments by asking earnestly for God’s wisdom. We can purpose in our hearts to respond with grace whether we are being criticized or complimented.
Even as I avoided my friend for quite some time, she did not ride off into the sunset. In fact, she seemed to come around a lot more often than prior to our “conversation” at the ball park. God was teaching me to respond to all people in a Christ-like manner. He was teaching me to stop and think of others, and all the burdens they carry that I would never know.
As the years progressed and as I have gotten to know her better, I learned my friend is not a mean-spirited or rude person at all. I also came to realize she is learning to intreat God’s wisdom just as I am.
A couple of years later, I sat in the warm sun watching our son play ball as baby number four kicked her way into my heart. There was plenty of room for her there, for I no longer held any animosity for my friend.
~ By Shelley Pierce. Shelley has served alongside her husband James in ministry for over 35 years. Additionally she is the director of the preschool and children’s ministries at her church. She is also an award-winning contributing author to numerous books and devotions. She lives in Tenn., and has four adult children and grandchildren.
