Parents wield an incredible amount of influence when it comes to the behaviors and attitudes of their children.
The Fuller Youth Institute estimates that 50 percent of high school students actively involved in their churches walk away from their faith after graduation. But this is our good news: there is one thing that makes a drastic difference in that statistic. It’s not church attendance, Sunday school involvement, youth group participation, religious education, or the influence of church staff. It’s you.
Over the course of a decade, from 2003 to 2014, Christian Smith, professor of sociology at Notre Dame, led a massive research endeavor called the National Study of Youth and Religion. This study examined the relationship between childhood faith and adult faith. What Smith found was that parents were the number one predictor of a child’s spirituality throughout their lives. This may seem surprising to you—especially if your kids don’t enjoy being seen in public with you or could teach a Master Class on the art of the eye roll. But it’s true: you have more influence on their walk with Jesus than anyone else in their lives, including the “professionals.” Your investment in their discipleship matters more than any program your church could offer. Now, this is not to diminish the importance of church programming and staff—you cannot expect to raise healthy disciples of Jesus without the church—but nothing compares to the influence of parents.
Your Example Matters
This is really good news, friends. But channeling Billy Mays, the infomercial guy, “But, wait, there’s more!” Because here’s some even better news.
When it comes to whether kids will go on to follow Jesus as adults, Smith found that the single most significant parental behavior is actually incredibly simple. It doesn’t take a seminary degree or years of practice to learn how to do it. It can be done anywhere, anytime. And, not surprisingly, it’s very Deuteronomy 6. The parental behavior that makes the biggest difference in that 50 percent statistic is this: parents who talk about and practice their faith at home. As it turns out, 82 percent of children whose parents place great importance on their beliefs, are active in their churches, and talk about and practice their faith at home go on to follow Jesus as adults.
Eighty-two percent, friends. That is a far cry from the 50 percent statistic we’ve come to accept as normative, and this is very good news. Let’s talk about why this might be.
The Nature of Spiritual Authority
Parents have spiritual authority. One simple definition of spiritual authority is the right to make use of God’s power on earth. Think about how earthly authority works. A twelve-year-old bus monitor has the authority to write up her fellow students for misbehaving. She has the right to make use of the school’s power in that situation. A crossing-guard has the authority to stop traffic because he has the right to make use of the city’s power in that situation. When it comes to spiritual authority, it’s exactly the same: in certain situations, disciples of Jesus are given the right to make use of God’s power on earth.
From Scripture, we know that all power and all authority belong to God (Rom. 13:1; 1 Peter 5:11) and were given to Jesus (Matt. 28:18). Throughout the Gospels, Jesus invited His followers to share in His ministry and to do what He did. The disciples preached the gospel, healed the sick, cast out demons, and—most significant to this conversation—made disciples. When Jesus ascended into heaven, He instructed them to wait for the gift of the Spirit. At Pentecost, with the pouring out of God’s Spirit, God entrusted the ministry Jesus began on earth to the church. Ordinary humans, empowered by the Spirit, now have the right to exercise God’s power on earth (Matt. 28:19; Acts 1:8) when they are submitted to His will (Rom. 8:7; James 4:7) and committed to His purposes.
You are one such disciple. I imagine you have no trouble believing that your pastor possesses spiritual authority to minister in the church, because he or she was called by God into that assignment. You might take it for granted that your pastor has the “right to make use of God’s power” in their ministry of preaching, teaching, shepherding, and leading.
The Spiritual Calling of Parents
Well, guess what? You have been called by God to a specific ministry assignment as well! As followers of Jesus, we were given a calling the moment we became parents. Os Guinness says a calling is “our personal answer to God’s address, our response to God’s summons.” For parents, the summons in Scripture is clear. We are instructed to “Bring [our children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4) and to “Direct [our] children onto the right path” (Prov. 22:6, NLT). This assignment from God, to make disciples in the home, is no less legitimate than your pastor’s assignment to make disciples in the church. Both are realizations of Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 28:19–20 to “Make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”
So, as we submit ourselves to God and come under His authority in our lives—the same way the bus monitor submits to the school’s authority—there’s no reason that we shouldn’t walk in spiritual authority as we pray for, teach, train, lead, and “direct our children onto the right path.” As an agent of God’s kingdom, on a specific assignment from God, you have the right to make use of God’s power on earth. You can pray boldly for your children, the kind of prayers that make heaven and earth tremble. You can lead your children with courage and confidence because, just like the bus monitor or the crossing guard, you know who has given you this assignment and who will always have your back.
Christ’s Model of Authority
What if you feel like you have no idea how to find or use this authority you supposedly have access to? Is there a way to get better at walking in spiritual authority? Absolutely. We can learn a lot about how to grow in spiritual authority by looking at Jesus.
In the New Testament, the scribes and the Pharisees often wondered about where Jesus’ authority came from. How was He able to heal the sick, cast out demons, and perform miracles? In John 5:19 Jesus tells them, “The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing.” Why did Jesus have so much spiritual authority? Because He listened to the Father’s voice and did whatever His Father told him. And, as Jesus told His disciples the night before He died, the same principle applies to us: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Just as the bus monitor, apart from her relationship with the school, would not be effective at her job, neither will we be effective at this task apart from our relationship with Jesus. It’s our intimacy with God, our ability to hear and obey God’s voice, that enables us to walk in spiritual authority.
Your Effort in God’s Hands
If we were ever tempted to outsource the spiritual development of our kids to the “professionals” before—for fear of not being capable enough, for lack of time, or for sheer lack of interest—we now know that’s no longer an option.
The good news in this conversation comes with a clear invitation to offer back to God what God has already given you: your time, your influence, your love for your children, your creativity, and your willingness. I encourage you to offer these to Jesus the same way the little boy in John 6 offers his lunch to feed the multitudes. Without the power of God to multiply his five loaves and two fish, the crowds would have gone away hungry. In the same way, the things in your hands are not sufficient to satisfy your children’s spiritual hunger and nourish their souls, but they are essential. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t have enough—or simply aren’t enough—for this journey, take heart. In Jesus’ hands, a boy’s humble lunch was enough to feed five thousand men, plus women and children. No matter how long you’ve been following Jesus or how rocky that journey has been, your humble efforts to talk about and practice your faith at home are more than enough in God’s capable, powerful hands.
Adapted from Teach Your Children Well by Sarah Cowan Johnson. Copyright (c) 2022 by Sarah Cowan Johnson. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press, P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515, USA.
