Recently, we enjoyed a family vacation, and one of the traditions I love when we’re together is the taking of the family photo. Some in our family smile more than others, but usually a bribe of a trip to the family fun center or an ice cream cone will get everyone beaming with joy.
Philippians is a book about joy—about how joy enriches relationships. Because I was writing a book on Philippians, I immersed myself in an audio version of the book. Hearing it read like the letter it was penned to be highlighted how much the Apostle Paul had to say about relationships.
When we bring joy into the realm of relationship, it blesses those we love. Negative attitudes and actions erode a relationship but joy, gratefulness, thankfulness, and appreciation strengthen relationships. When we allow God to infuse our hearts with these positive emotions, it aids us in bringing our best selves to T.H.E.M.—all those we love and value. Let’s look at four key ideas from Philippians chapter one that can help us take our eyes off of ourselves and onto T.H.E.M.:
Thank God for Them:
Philippians 1:3 models this: “I thank my God every time I remember you.” People can tell when you appreciate them. By thanking God for someone with this “attitude of gratitude,” it builds a sense of deep respect, honor, and gratefulness toward the person. In short, we like people more and are willing to stay in their lives when we’re also praising God for them.
Hold Them in Your Heart:
Philippians 1:7 explains: “It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart, [for] all of you share in God’s grace with me.” Our goal is to be “partakers of grace,” and we can do this as we hold others in our hearts. This means we choose to not make a relationship about a list of behaviors. Instead, we carry others with constant love. When a relationship is based only on behaviors, no one can stay good enough for long enough to succeed. God’s love and grace always trumps human imperfection.
Express Joy to Them:
Philippians 1:4 challenges us to love with joy and prayer: “In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.” We are drawn to people who express joy when they see us. Knowing someone is praying for you can build a relationship. That’s why praying for someone, and letting them know you are praying, is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Multiply Love by Applying God’s Love:
Philippians 1:9 encourages us to love more like God: “This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.” We can deepen our understanding of a verse by reading it in a few translations or paraphrased versions. I find joy in seeing how to love in the expanded vocabulary definitions in verses 9 and 10 in the Amplified version:
And this I pray, that your love may abound more and more [displaying itself in greater depth] in real knowledge and in practical insight, so that you may learn to recognize and treasure what is excellent [identifying the best, and distinguishing moral differences], and that you may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ [actually living lives that lead others away from sin].
As you love like Jesus, your relationships will become healthier and more enjoyable. And as we bring our happy, hopeful, positive attitude of joy to each relationship, we will be easier to love too!
