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Marriage Advice

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Everyone needs a little marriage advice!

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Stuart and Jill Briscoe, who have been married more than 60 years, are often asked the secret to a long marriage. Stuart likes to quip, “Keep your promises and live a long time.” In a nutshell, that’s all you have to do to keep your marriage intact, but it’s easier said than done!

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Jill has often said, “Opposites do indeed attract, but give the marriage time, and opposites begin to irritate!” Anyone who’s been married any length of time knows how true that is. 

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People don’t stay married based on their feelings. I’ve often said that love is not a feeling, it’s a decision. When my husband and I said our wedding vows, we didn’t promise to stay together only while the romance lasted or until the feelings faded. We promised to remain married “until death do us part.” 

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Infatuation has been found to last 12 to 18 months. Romance is said to wear off in about seven years. If a marriage is to last longer than that, it needs to be built on a stronger foundation. The best foundation is Christ (Matt. 7:24; Eph. 2:19-22).

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If we look at what God says about marriage, we can see that it’s about more than two people forming a new family. It’s really a picture of God’s relationship with His people, meant to reflect His love for His followers. We find that image throughout the Bible, from Isaiah to Revelation (Is. 62:5; Rev. 19:7). Jesus even calls Himself the Bridegroom in Matt. 9:15.

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In his book Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? Gary Thomas writes, “Knowing why we are married and should stay married is crucial. The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a self-centered view? In a self-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Christ.”

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If you’re looking for advice for your own marriage, Just Between Us (JBU) has articles written by licensed counselors or people like you who have found that building a marriage on the foundation of Christ is the key to making it work for the long haul. We’re confident you’ll find valuable resources here.

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