When marriage challenges come, Just Between Us wants you to experience the fullness of joy that comes when two hearts are truly made one in Christ (Mark 10:7-9). It’s not just a cliché that making a marriage work is hard work, and it takes two people to make a great marriage.

All marriages has challenges and seasons of difficulty. How well your marriage will weather the storms of life depends a heavily on how healthy your marriage is when you’re sailing smooth waters. Still, God created marriage to be a reflection of His loving relationship with His church, and we should do our best to live that out (Is. 62:5; Rev. 19:7). 

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So, the best thing you can do is invest in your marriage early on, to make sure you have a sturdy, leakproof boat that can withstand the tossing waves that will inevitably come. Spend quality time together, learn how to communicate in healthy ways, and how to manage conflict constructively. 

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One way to look at this is like an emotional bank account. Showing love and care for your spouse is like making deposits in their emotional account. When conflict arises or you make a cutting remark, ignore or otherwise hurt your partner, those deposits get spent. Too many withdrawals can leave them feeling emotionally overdrawn, and the marriage suffers.

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Another important part of keeping a marriage healthy is taking responsibility for your own emotional well-being. Unlike what the world says about finding someone to “complete” us, a healthy marriage is made up of two whole people. If you have unhealthy patterns in your own life, unrealistic expectations about marriage, or a dysfunctional past that hasn’t been dealt with, find resources to help you work on those areas individually. Rather than looking to your spouse to fill the holes in your heart, make sure your identity is planted firmly in Christ: 

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“…Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God — truly righteous and holy” (Eph. 4:23-24, NLT). 

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It’s not just a cliché that making a marriage work is hard work, and it takes two people to make a great marriage. But even if your spouse isn’t ready or willing to work with you on it yet, there are steps you can take on your own to improve your marriage. You can’t force another person to change, but you can make changes in your own life to make yourself healthier, which in turn can improve your marriage.

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Are you experiencing marital problems? First, seek God’s wisdom (Jas. 1:5) and turn your worries over to Him (1 Pet. 5:7). Then, look for resources that provide hope for your marriage.

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“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you” (2 Cor. 13: 11).

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