During one of the toughest seasons of my life, a woman named Beverly met with me a few times and helped me process some very daunting changes and challenges in my personal and ministry life. I probably only spent 24 hours total with her, yet she was a very strategic influence in my life.
Afterwards, my prayer was, “Lord, let me be a Beverly in someone’s life. Let me help them see Jesus and be a bridge of hope through a tough and confusing patch. Let me help others hear God and grasp a hold of Jesus in a stronger, deeper, more life-transforming way.” Years later, God whispered to me, “You are a Beverly. You help people see Me. You help divide the truth from the lies. You extend hope and faith and courage. You put their hand into My hand, then get out of the way and let Me work.”
That’s my job description: I am a Beverly. Everything I do in my ministry is to this end: To help us seek and see and love and worship and serve the Living God.
And I desperately need other Beverlies in my life. Do you have someone in your life with whom you can sit and discuss what it means to live the Christian life? To discuss the frustrating dry wilderness experiences, excitement, difficult decisions, spiritual breakthroughs, watershed moments, doubts, pain, gray areas, bewildering situations? Someone who can remind you of truth, point you toward the Lord, and help you see and hear God when all seems foggy or silent?
I am often asked, “Should I have a spiritual director?” Yes. Many. I think we need a variety of people throughout our lives who can stimulate, challenge, direct, listen, pray, and bounce around the issues of knowing and serving the Lord.
No one person has arrived. No one has all the angles. No one person can provide the insight I need to walk with Christ. We need different people who can help point us toward God: men and women, clergy and lay people, friends and family, younger and older, who connect with us in openness, humility, and mutual encouragement—not just top-down directions. Each person brings a unique perspective and shines light from a new angle. I have had the privilege of studying, learning, and living alongside so many incredibly faithful believers, and each one has contributed to my understanding of what it means to live in Christ.
Whom should I open my soul to?
Do they have a solid knowledge of the whole of Scripture that acts as a filter or grid by which everything is measured? Just because someone is a spiritual mentor does not mean they are biblically-based, Christ-centered, or even know God. Too many times I have heard people report unhealthy, heretical, or flat-out sinful conclusions, and when I ask how they arrived at this, I am told, “My spiritual director told me.” Going deep apart from the Lord and His Word can lead to endless and possibly paralyzing introspection, a temptation toward self-indulgence and even self-worship, and strengthening of my flesh rather than dependency on God.
Do they spout Bible verses as pat answers and simple solutions, without listening or considering what the Holy Spirit might be whispering? Am I being conformed to the image of Christ, or to a legalistic cookie-cutter mold? Do I leave with a profound peace and a desire to serve God in greater joy and freedom, or with a set of do’s and don’ts and a miserable case of shame and false guilt? If so, step away.
Does this person foster a dependence on Jesus? Or a dependence on herself? Does it feel like control and manipulation or freedom to be myself and express my true heart and mind? Am I becoming who God truly made me, or am I becoming hard and proud, with a black-and-white answer for everything?
Does he/she have all the answers? Everything neatly sorted out? A formula for every dilemma? No room for the mystery of God? I would not trust this type of person with my soul.
Do I limit possibilities of women God may want to use in my life? If I only receive input from my own gender, my own age, my own denomination, I cut myself off from a wealth of insight on what it means to walk with Christ.
Does being with this person cause me to want a closer walk with Jesus? Do they free my spirit to connect with the Holy Spirit? Are they able to speak into my life in such a way that we stimulate one another to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24)? Make the time to connect with this person whenever you can.
As I study the Scripture, I continuously see there is no such thing as a healthy Lone Ranger in the Kingdom. I don’t care how long I’ve been a believer. I don’t care how mature I think I am. I don’t care how many times I’ve been hurt or disappointed by someone in the church. I cannot walk with Christ without the body of Christ. God does not give me the option of going it alone.
Who needs you to be a Beverly? Who are your Beverlies?
I pray to be a faithful Beverly, helping others wrestle with the Christian experience. And I pray for the Beverlies I need to challenge, encourage, and support me in the same goal.
