I have been a Martha all my life. Marthas like to get stuff done. In fact, we often base our whole identity in what we do. We like to think that’s how we’re wired.
So what can we learn from the following passage?
Luke 10:38-42 says, “Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’”
“’Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”
Did you see that it was Martha who noticed that Jesus was in town and might need a place to stay and eat? We Marthas are great at noticing the needs of others and knowing that we can help meet that need. We are often great at hospitality. If you are like me, you sometimes think that hospitality needs to be perfect, or at least close to perfection. We also like to honor other people with our gifts. When the man who is the Messiah stops by, no PB & J is going to cut it! In our minds, there are now a multitude of “preparations that have to be made.”
Stop a moment and review this phrase from the passage: “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” The Bible doesn’t say that these preparations were unnecessary. For everyone to eat later, they had to be made. There was no fast food drive through or grocery store with a 12-piece chicken basket.
If Martha had gone back to the kitchen and finished preparing the meal while Jesus taught, she would be able to come in and be the hero in that moment. We Marthas like to be the hero. But at what cost? She almost missed the holy moment when God in the flesh says to us, “I’ll like you even if you disappoint all these other people. I want you more than I want your gifts, as beautiful as they are. I long to share my heart with you and hear yours.”
I love that Jesus seems to give Martha permission to join them in front of everyone. We Marthas seem to need permission to disappoint ourselves and others. If you are a Martha, you know what I mean. We say things like, “I am really trying to meet your deadline but so many other things have come up.” We want the other person to say, “Please give yourself another couple of days. It will be fine.” But they rarely do. When they don’t, we tend to play the martyr, just like Martha. When we get in over our head, we say: “Lord, don’t you care that my sister or husband, kids, co-worker, or friend) has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! Can’t you see I’m short-staffed? Can’t you see my child is ill? Can’t you see the unusual circumstances that arose that were not in my original plan?” We Marthas really want people to notice how hard we are working. When our work is not valued, we feel diminished, invisible, and unappreciated.
Yet, Jesus does not define us by what we do. He does not love us because of what we do. He loves us for being us. His number one longing is to connect with our hearts.
From this relationship, we will find value, understanding, appreciation, and guidance on who can help us accomplish what God has called us to do without diminishing them.
Again from the passage: “And Jesus answered and said unto her, ‘Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her’” (KJV). The Greek word for “careful” is merimnaō, which means to be anxious, troubled with a thing, to care for a thing, and also to seek to promote one’s own interests.
Here we identify the heart of the Martha syndrome: We don’t like someone interrupting our plans, even the God of the Universe come in human flesh. We don’t always see that as a good thing. Jesus is saying: “These holy moments, where I show up and want to be with you, they are the most necessary. From them flow everything else. I will never be angry at you or anyone else for taking me up on my invitation.”
God wants us to be interruptible. Often, that interruption does not involve doing, but being. Being there for someone with a kind word or a prayer, not the solution to their problem. Being there to share in their joy, and celebrate with them in that moment, not to plan a whole event. To stop in wonder at the goodness of God when your children insist it is you who must kiss them goodnight and snuggle awhile when you are looking forward to getting a few things done before collapsing into bed.
As a Martha, I can be very black-or-white, all or nothing. The Lord is reminding me, “I am not asking you to change the way you are wired, but to just enter into the holiness of this moment that is right in front of you. Can you see it? It is beautiful. Set aside your agenda, your identity that is based on doing and achieving, and your thoughts that are running away with concerns about how it will all get done. Enter into this holy moment, and I promise it will all work out. You will find rest for your soul here, as well as joy and strength.”
We Marthas must always look for balance. We want to be able to justify our importance and ability to “get ‘er done,” often at the expense of developing an intimate relationship with our Savior or even other people. Jesus is inviting all Marthas to be promoted from servant to friend and then to bride. He is not changing His mind about how He made us. He is simply inviting us to become the best version of ourselves.
This version of ourselves knows our value to our heavenly Father is in being, not doing. When we receive that value from Him, we can extend it to others. Then we see them the way Christ sees them. We can allow ourselves to slow down and be Jesus to them. When we enter into a holy moment with them, our Father smiles and joins us in that holy moment. It’s then that we enter the kingdom of heaven where there are no cares, no worries, and no problems to solve—only the sufficiency of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We take that holy moment with us, and it sustains and delights us . . . as we Marthas get back to work!
~ By Cherilyn Dahlsten
