Recently my husband resigned from our church. After 15 years of pouring our lives into the community and congregation, with teary eyes he told the congregation it was time to move on because of philosophical differences and resistance to his leadership. I cried. I loved my ministry with women, my home, and the comfort of routine.
On last Sunday was approaching and the congregation was given an opportunity to share words of appreciation. “Everyone has a sermon in them,” my husband always said. I knew that this would be my last opportunity to speak my peace, so I wanted to take advantage of it.
As I prayed through the Scriptures, I was drawn to Paul’s second epistle to Timothy. Paul is writing to a pastor, addressing his needs and warning him of ministry’s pitfalls. As a pastor’s wife, I knew what a pastor needed, so I wanted to tell the congregation how they should treat the next pastor! Maybe they would realize they had fallen short in caring for my husband. This must be in my message, I thought. I was amazed at how Paul’s words spoke to the needs of pastors, but what I wasn’t ready for was how they spoke to me. While I was poised to rebuke any slackers with their responsibility toward their pastor, God was showing me my own.
In chapter one, Paul reminds Timothy, “God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” Pastors deal with fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of falling short of people’s expectations, and when all is said and done, fear of disappointing God. He carries with him the knowledge that one day he will stand before his Master and will give an account (Heb. 13:17).
As I read these words, I began to wonder how I had contributed to fear in my husband’s life. Though we prayed together regularly, sometimes our journey became a time for me to unload. The Holy Spirit began to open my eyes as I asked myself probing questions. Did my words feed his faith or fuel his doubts? Did my expectations make him feel that he could never please even me? Was I failing to communicate that I believed in him and that God had made him adequate for the task?
In chapter two, I saw these words, “You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” Christian ministry poses many hardships. Paul urges the pastor to be tough. The pastor needs to be strong, drawing from the grace that flows from Christ. I thought about the times that I had dumped a load of responsibility on my husband; and how I didn’t point him to God’s resources. My husband needed me to pour strength into him by nourishing him with life-giving words. How often did I consider the immense responsibility he felt? How could I refresh and encourage him?
Paul continues in chapter three warning Timothy that his ministry is not always going to be well received. The world is proceeding from “bad to worse” he says (2 Tim. 3:13). The pastor has a disturbing guarantee – he will face opposition. He will be tempted to sugar coat his messages to make them more inspiring and palatable to those who want “to have their ears tickled” (2 Tim. 4:3). It will be a struggle to hold the line and stay centered on God’s Word. The pastor must keep a clear head at all times and not be swayed by futile fads that come from every direction.
Our last Sunday finally arrived. One-by-one, for an hour, people stood, many with tear-filled eyes, and spoke of the impact my husband had in their lives. They spoke of his gentle and encouraging presence in their lives at significant times of need. They thanked him for faithfully preaching God’s Word without compromise. They recalled specific sermons that changed their lives forever. My heart felt a calming satisfaction as I listened and thanked God for a faithful husband and pastor, one that would go with me when I walked out the church door for the final time.
This was my last opportunity to speak, but I said nothing. “Holy Spirit, teach me and impress on my heart these important lessons,” I prayed. I want to be a wife that understands her pastor-husband, for I should know better than anyone should!
~ By Linda Justice