Ministry can be hard - challenging at best. In a survey conducted by Focus on the Family, they found that “thousands of spiritual leaders are barely hanging on from day to day.” Their surveys also indicated that 84 percent of pastor’s wives are discouraged or dealing with depression. And more than 40 percent are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules and unrealistic expectations.
So how are ministry wives to survive successfully in the ministry? I’ve put together a little “survival kit” to hopefully make your life a little bit easier and, if nothing else, to give you something to laugh about. Learning to laugh at some of the minor irritations of ministry can prove to be good medicine for the heart as Proverbs 17:22 reminds us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
As you read through the “survival kit,” I hope some of the items will bring a smile to your face. Perhaps you can add your own ideas to the list and share it with another ministry wife in your area.
Book: The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. We need to be constantly putting our husband before the throne.
Journal: This will be helpful in processing your feelings throughout the many ups and downs of ministry life.
Red Pen: Try using a red pen to write in your journal when you’re really mad. This will provide a helpful outlet for managing your anger. Another use for the pen is to cross out weekly time for yourself in your date book.
Calendar and Pencil: You will need this to schedule regular date nights with your husband, alone time, vacations, and family time.
Eraser: Always carry one of these to make the inevitable adjustments to your plans. Your life will be less stressful if you make allowances for God to change your plans as He wills.
Memo Pad with Heading, “Pastor, Remember To Tell Your Wife…” (You can go to any office store and have these especially made; maybe a stocking-stuffer for your husband this Christmas!) Very simply, this will help you avoid many frustrations because you’ll be able to receive all of the information you need to know from church.
Magazine: Just Between Us makes a great regular resource for encouragement. It will give you the support you need to know that you are not alone on this journey.
Votive Candles: Always have a variety of colors and scents around so you can grab a few moments for yourself to relax.
Chocolate: Stash a few of your favorite candy bars in the freezer so they’re readily available for those hormone moments!
Bubble Bath with Fizzle: A luxurious bubble bath will not only relax you, it will help you get rid of any lingering bad attitudes.
Mini Tool Box: Gather up the most common household tools so you’re ready to fix up all the little things around the house that your husband never has time for.
Rain Poncho: This is a necessity for the many times you have to run through the church parking lot in the middle of a downpour, because your husband isn’t available to drop you off at the door.
Clothespin: You will need this because you’re the one who most often has to hold everything together at home.
Breath Mints: You never want to leave for church without these! A necessity because of all the people you have to talk to at church.
Cotton Ball Earplugs: These are especially important for shielding you from listening to the criticism that is likely to come your way. Another great use is so you don’t have to hear your husband practicing his sermon over and over again!
Q-Tips: This item will help you keep your ears clean because of all the listening you need to provide as your spouse unloads and processes his feelings, disappointments, joys, etc.
Rubber Hair Band: This item will help you remember that you are always being stretched, and the importance of remaining flexible.
Heart Magnet: Keep this somewhere where you will see it regularly as a reminder to always love your sheep.
Pansy in a Clay Pot: Place in a spot where you will be reminded regularly just how unique, gifted and beautiful you are just the way you are (treasures in jars of clay).
Little Box: The box is empty except for these words, “No one sees all you do (and put up with) except God. Great will be your reward in Heaven!
Recipe: See this recipe that will give you a quick help for all of the hospitality you’re practicing.
All Purpose Recipe for Ministry Wives - From Kitchen of Heaven
- 1 gal. love
- 2 gal. faith
- 1 pt. encouragement
- 5 T patience
- 1 qt. energy
- 2 c laughter
- 3 c flexibility
- dash of creativity, to taste
Combine all ingredients. Mix thoroughly with reality and truth. Let rise for 60 min of planning. Sift through Scripture. Bake at 350 degrees in prayer for one lifetime. In separate bowl, mix rest, romance, exercise and alone time. Deliver: warm. Calories: 0. Serves: the Lord.
I hope the next time ministry is getting you down, you’ll grab your survival kit and remember that you are a unique woman of God, greatly loved and cared for by Him, and that one or two of the items from your kit will put a smile on your face!
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