“I wish I weren’t a Martha,” my friend sobbed. “She was the bad one, right?” Exhausted from caring for her dying mother, my friend judged herself as un-Christian because she wasn’t finding joy in the backbreaking work. My hand flew to cover my mouth when she cried, “Mary was the good one. I wish I were like her.”
I don’t know how the Luke 10 story about the sisters of Lazarus got reduced to Bad Martha versus Good Mary. It isn’t helpful. Yes, Martha complains to Jesus, while Mary waits at His feet. But it’s to Martha that Jesus first proclaims, “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25). Would He share that wonderful news with a bad person?
Sometimes we don’t want to be in the situation we’re in. In the midst of hard times—like right now with the social isolation, lack of school support, and job insecurity—it’s hard to remember that suffering produces perseverance, which leads to character, which leads to hope (Romans 5). My friend loves her mother; it’s the endless cycle of cooking, feeding, toileting, morphine injections, and laundry that she dislikes.
The Bible is full of examples of women persevering through terrible situations: Tamar becoming impregnated by her father-in-law. Esther risking her life to beg the king to spare the lives of her countrymen. The adulteress brought before Jesus for judgment, remaining on her feet as the crowd demanded she be stoned. These women were brave. They persevered. Hope was revealed through their trials. Tamar’s son Perez became an ancestor of Jesus. Esther saved her people. The adulteress’ life was spared and was directed by Jesus to leave her life of sin. We remember and honor and learn from these women still.
So, what did I tell my friend? I told her that I thought she was amazing and hardworking and someone whose Christian faith I admired very much. Without organization, medications can go haywire, meals remain uncooked, and outcomes worsen. Martha's skills are important. Can we get distracted by unimportant details? You bet. Mary’s example of taking time to be with Jesus encourages me to read Scripture every day, even if it’s just one verse.
We women can learn from both Martha and Mary—to serve our families and our communities trusting that God has a purpose for every unrecognized act of service, and in our quietest moments, to feel palpable grace.
