I spoke at a women’s retreat recently and during the lunch break I had a crazy experience. I almost died.
Dramatic, I know, but let me tell you the story. It’s a short one. Basically, I tried to swallow a piece of fajita meat and it lodged in my throat. Right there. At the table. I couldn’t get it to go down or come back up. It just sat there, filling up my airspace. Within seconds, panic was welling up within me. Two women leapt to my rescue, but at that moment I finally coughed hard enough to dislodge it.
Ten seconds of total fear.
It doesn’t sound like much, but around the eighth second I wasn’t sure it was going to end well. I also didn’t know it would be over two seconds later. When you’re living in the moment, the eighth second can become a breaking point.
I played it off, nervous chuckles were exchanged, and we resumed eating (me─not so much!). On the inside, though, I was shaken. When I got home from the retreat, I couldn’t stop replaying the experience in my mind. Before I knew it, I had a panic attack.
Unfortunately, I have a history of anxiety and panic attacks are not new to me. They are, however, a thing of the past. I haven’t had one in years! The more I kept reliving those ten seconds, the more I could feel panic washing over me like a wave. Fear has a way of becoming a personal GIF, replaying over and over again in my mind.
Now, I’m assuming most people would have responded in similar fashion to choking. So, I will cut myself some slack for freaking out. But if I am truly honest, I would admit that fear is a continual battle for me. I don’t mean wildly terrorizing experiences, I mean the everyday, run-of-the-mill variety that pops up from time to time.
You see, I get scared easily. I have an overactive imagination that errs on the side of doom and gloom. Think Chicken Little mixed with a touch of Eeyore. It’s not a great combo! I may appear calm on the outside, but, more often than not, a battle is waging war on the inside of me. I find myself constantly assessing and sizing up situations in an attempt to chase away any unease I feel creeping up.
And I have a long list of fears! Ranging from back pain to having metal fly through the windshield while I am driving (yes, someone once told me of a metal pipe flying off a truck bed, crashing through a windshield, leaving the driver with permanent, massive facial damage).
Thankfully, the Bible speaks to our fears and even identifies where they come from. In the book of John, chapter ten Jesus tells the story of the Shepherd, the sheep, and the thief who tries to steal them. Jesus likens us to sheep and explains how sheep can distinguish between the Shepherd and the thief by their voices. Speaking first of the Shepherd Jesus says, “His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But the sheep will never follow a stranger, in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice” (John 10:5). Now, you may be thinking, I recognize the voice of the thief! I have followed him many times! So, what does this verse mean? The context of this passage can help us tremendously.
Prior to Jesus telling this story in John, Jesus had healed a man of blindness and the Pharisees were skeptical of this miracle. Jesus hinted at their lack of faith and they took offense at this. Jesus responded with the story of the Shepherd, the sheep, and the thief. The sheep who hear the Shepherd’s voice recognize it because they trust He is the Son of God. They believe He is leading them toward life and they are ready to follow Him. Conversely, they know the thief is leading them toward destruction, so they run. The Pharisees did not believe in Jesus as the Messiah and therefore they could not hear His voice.
No other voice will do once the voice has been heard. However, that voice cannot be heard without faith. The enemy’s voice, however, can always be heard. So, yes, we can still hear the enemy, but we must tune our hearts to only listen to the voice worth following. How do we do this?
We allow God’s voice to be louder.
Fear can roar and reverberate. If it’s the most prominent voice in your life, you will cower to it. Therefore, you have to elevate God’s voice above it. My favorite strategy is to sit in my backyard as the sun is rising. I hear the rumble of trucks and car doors closing, but I also hear a variety of birds singing, squirrels scrambling up trees, and leaves rustling in the wind. The longer I sit, the louder creation becomes. And the louder creation becomes, the more aware I am of my Creator.
When I can’t get to my backyard, I read my favorite scripture (Ps. 91:1-2), listen to a worship song or just get on my knees and beg for God to drown out the deafening sounds. It never fails. When I intentionally quiet my heart to hear His voice, fear fades into a dull, white noise.
We have to silence ourselves and the noise around us in order to hear His voice. When we do this, He rises above even the loudest of fears. What is screaming in front of us can quickly become a whisper from behind when we choose to tune it out. Fear does not own us. It is not our master and we are not required to listen to it.
Today, all of us have a choice. We may not be able to silence fear in our lives, but we can definitely turn the volume down. Whose voice are you listening to today?
