I could hear the low rumble of my car’s motor as the cool air from the AC blew strands of hair into my face. The summer heat in the South pushed a band of perspiration across my forehead, and with one swipe of my hand I pushed back the hair, patted the sweat, and wiped a stray tear from my eye. The urgent to-dos on my list overwhelmed me.
That’s why, for the second time that Sunday, I drove back to church in hopes of hearing something that would shake me out of the doldrums that I felt locked inside. As my grip tightened around the steering wheel, I whispered, “Help me, Lord.”
I heard His voice speak to my heart with a clear question, “What do you want me to do for you?” I was startled into silence for a moment as my mind raced through the list of things that I thought God could do to make my life easier—a financial breakthrough, heal a familial relationship, take away my tendency toward depression and anxiety—on and on the list could go. But sensing the significance of this question, I pondered my answer.
A few minutes passed before tears fell again and a whisper escaped my lips, “Lord, all I want is peace. I want peace in knowing that You are with me in any circumstance—good or bad—peace in knowing that You are in control, and that You are working on my behalf.” I was certain that even if God chose to keep me in the struggle, I could make it if I had His peace deep in my heart.
Recently, I read the healing account of blind Bartimaeus in Mark 10:46–52. Loudly pleading for mercy, Bartimaeus called to Jesus. When Jesus heard him, He did not turn him away. He asked Bartimaeus this same question in Mark 10:51, “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, ‘Rabbi, I want to see.’”
Perhaps there is a similarity between Bartimaeus’ answer and mine. To gain the peace that I was seeking, maybe it was a matter of gaining my sight. The ability to see Jesus as bigger than my circumstances, bigger than my emotions, or bigger than any trial life brings my way—that is what leads to perfect peace.
The difficult circumstances of the hot summer day years ago did not miraculously depart, but the Holy Spirit’s question to me did change my focus. It opened my blind eyes to the Presence of God in my situation.
Is there a situation weighing you down? Look to Jesus. His peace will fill your heart.
