In just over three years, I watched cancer strip the life from my niece, my niece-in-law, and my mother. As I walked through that brutal season, my emotions were all over the board. I was angry that their lives – lives lived well – could end so cruelly. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
Each day brought the dance of surrender and faith. Here are a few things that helped me:
1. Put on your oxygen mask.
A flight attendant’s emergency instructions may sound selfish. However, we’ve got to breathe to help another person. Our inner life is our oxygen line. If we’re gasping for survival, we’re not going to be much comfort to our loved ones.
2. Pray your emotions.
Don’t stuff them. Tell God ex-actly how you feel – anger, grief, disappointment – the whole mixed bag. Ask Him to help you live with your emotions, but not be led or controlled by them. Coun-ter your feelings by camping on and praying Scriptures about God’s character, promises, and greater plan.
3. Keep your confidence in God’s goodness.
Especially as you watch your loved one suffer. It’s easy to fall into the quicksand of silently questioning and ac-cusing God. A tension exists between living in a broken world and trusting a good God. Acknowledge that fact, but don’t get stuck there. Find and pray Scriptures that focus on His goodness.
4. Recall God’s faithfulness.
Remember all the times that God has been faithful to your loved one, to you, and to His people. Thank Him that He has been, is, and always will be faithful.
5. Love well.
Serve your loved one, ask for forgiveness where needed, and share the good things. Pray for and receive God’s wisdom.
6. Choose to let go.
Keep releasing the one you love to the One who loves her most. “God You perfectly love her, please let her know Your love and mercy today. Bring peace, comfort, and Your perfect will. I release this one I love into Your love and care."
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