I no longer have young children in my home. Rather, I have a home bursting with teenagers and college aged “children” and I love it (most of the time)! As I approach my mid-forties, okay maybe a little beyond, I am often reminded of those “days gone by.” Almost daily on social media posts and in conversations with my peers, there seems to be that common feeling of sadness for when our children were young. Hearing, how much those days are missed, is shared with an almost tangible grief. Yes, there are times when we miss those days when we had little ones running around our homes. Of course, we should cherish those moments and be reminded of how precious those days were when our children were little. And, we can so quickly forget the challenges of those days such as sleep deprivation, being constantly “on-duty,” and rarely getting a moment to ourselves. But most dangerously, I think we can begin to struggle with the idea that somehow we lack value and relevance.
The idea that there are years and even decades of wisdom that come with motherhood, are sometimes lost in a culture that more and more values the young over the old. It can feel like we live in a culture where we are only blessed and valued when we are raising young children. Although, we can’t pinpoint why this is, as we move our children through the nursery into our churches and out of the toddler rooms and into the “youth” groups and classes, we feel it don’t we? However, if we are not careful, even though we know we are abundantly blessed, we can buy into that mindset. We can begin to slip into that feeling of loss and grief and begin to lose sight of the fact that we are still abundantly blessed, relevant, and valued, regardless of the age of our children. It can be so tempting to look backwards instead of forward. Oh how dangerous that can be…longing for what is no longer, and missing the blessings right in front of us!
Let’s be reminded of what Scripture says as we move into all phases of motherhood. Every phase has its blessings and value in this important job of parenting! Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” This command is not age specific. We can be teaching our children all our lives. Although this is a constantly changing role in terms of time, influence, and guidance; we are still parenting. We can clearly see and almost envision a teenage child or young adult, walking and talking with their parents about deeper spiritual things in this Scripture.
Isn’t this a beautiful picture? Of course any aged child could be depicted here, but also every age is, as well. We can count it an honor and say, “I parented and instructed a baby, toddler, school aged, and tween, teen, even an adult child?” What a privilege and the wisdom we have developed through God’s grace and mercy! But, Satan loves to get us focused on what we think we no longer have. Getting our eyes off of all the many abundant blessings we have today. Didn’t Eve do that exact same thing? She was surrounded by the beauty of the Garden, but could only see the tree she could not have. We, as mothers, and parents are surrounded by the beauty of a growing family, both in size (at times) and now in age. That is a gift. Proverbs 31:28 says, “Her children rise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” I don’t know about you, but it has taken time and years for my children to mature enough to call me blessed, or in simple terms, are thankful and mature enough to articulate those thoughts and feelings.
While there is certainly grief that comes with the various stages of parenting, we need to practice looking for the garment of praise and thanksgiving as we embrace the journey we are on with our families. Let’s embrace every moment, every day, and every year with our children regardless of their age, stage, or season. Only second to our relationship with Christ, our families are the greatest and most precious gift God gives us. We can choose to see all the blessings right in front of us or spend our time looking longingly at what’s behind us. I don’t know about you, but I want to focus on my blessings!
